Feeling embarassed and ashamed... i hate myself

[osoz]

If she didn't think she had the scope or skill to help me, she had the opportunity to say so. She didn't. She didn't say that, she didn't insinuate that. And I don't at all think that's what happened here. What she did, suddenly and abruptly, is say that things didn't happen the way I said they did, and then dump me as a client. Does my story have some unbelievable parts to it? OF COURSE!!!! Unbelievable doesn't equal lying, it just means you went through something far outside the norm, an event that wouldn't occur to most people to even imagine.... shocker but that might even be called trauma by some people. If anything, that's an opportunity for therapy and exploration of distorted thinking (the very reason I was there to begin with), not a blanket accusation of lying and termination of therapy after only 2 sessions.

You don't throw the book in a bonfire just because you tore a single page, you get some tape, make a repair, and keep reading; and you don't throw out the whole box of crayons because you broke the tip of 1 crayon, you get a sharpener, make a new tip, and keep coloring. But I'm a torn page and broken crayon, so might as well just napalm the neighbourhood to keep me from spreading like the cancer I am.

 

[Fitup]

Unbelievable doesn't equal lying

Exactly

 

[Isokah]

If a therapist thinks your case is not something they're skilled enough to handle, there are ways to handle the situation without cuting off the client and blaming it on them.

Sounds like you had a lucky escape.

 

[Ufeno]

The reason she gave for dumping you is horrible. Therapists are never supposed to say something did or did not happen to a client. They are to take you at your word. It's not their place to say you are right or wrong. However, I doubt this therapist was qualified to treat trauma. First of all cptsd is not an official diagnosis yet so she would not be able to submit that to insurance at least in the US. I most definitely probably have cptsd as well but my official diagnoses are major depressive disorder, PTSD, and DID. My thoughts are that she realized she couldn't handle your case and wasn't qualified. Her obvious lack of qualifications led her to give you the bogus excuse she did. Consider yourself lucky that you're away from her now and she didn't waste any more of your time with further sessions. But certainly don't blame yourself. Look for somebody that specializes in trauma. If anyone ever tells you what you say happened never happened or couldn't happen, run for the hills they are not a good therapist. That is not for them to judge. There's going to be somebody better out there for you. Good luck and take care.

 

[Ticuh]

Oh, I am SO SORRY!!! What a s****y thing to do!!! I agree with this:

I think this is 100% HER baggage. Seriously. And she's projecting her own crap on you. My guess is that she's a survivor, too....and something you said struck a chord in her, so she went into ultra defensive mode. Kind of why I believe only in "wounded healers" after they get their shit together.

 

[Asije]

Her wording is certainly not the best, but I think this T realized she was out of her league as a therapist after hearing your whole story. She could have worded it better, and been a bit nicer about it, but I don't think I said anything to do with you at all. I think it's all about her insecurity and ability to properly convey her thoughts. I had a similar situation where I was trying to find a new therapist and had gone to someone who in the initial visit sounded great, and I did tell her very many things about my past thinking this woman, who told me she had expertise as a trauma therapist, would be able to help me. She seemed great, thanks me at the end of my session and we had planned several more sessions for the following weeks. That was on a Friday, and Sunday afternoon she called me to tell me that after thinking about me for the last few days that she did not think that she would be able to handle my traumas. I was very grateful for her to come up with that before we started working together rather than waiting for me to get really comfortable with her. Again, I don't think that this therapist, yours, has the capacity to handle your situation, and had a very poor way of expressing herself. I don't blame you for feeling the way that you do, because you opened yourself up to somebody who has rejected you. Embarrassment and shame seems like a normal way to feel after such a situation. I hope with time, those feelings will lessen as you move to find a better, more experienced therapist that will show you how a proper therapist is supposed to treat their patients.