Feeling Extremely Anxious After Being Yelled At

[Artista]

IT IS important to take breaks!! I also find I am really wanting to work on this like crazy to get through it. Sometimes people criticize me for doing all I do! THAT is disheartening. I go to therapy once a week, see a spiritual advisor once a month and go to group for 10 weeks at a time once a week with breaks in between 10 week sessions, plus read and read and work on it. I still have a "normal" life. Try to not let it affect my everyday too much. Not that I am left with much time to process things as they come, but I wonder if that can be a blessing and desensitizes me a little to when I can deal. It has affected the father of my kids by making him more responsible for them solely at times for me to go places and do things, but he should do that any way as their dad!! Never before had I asked him to! I would not feel I was doing enough if I didn't grasp for every resource offered!! It is too haunting and I urgently feel the need it should be addressed. Hard for anyone to say when you have done too much as long as you can still function.

We all need to just be aware of when these breaks are important or when it has become too consuming that it can be hurtful to healing and too exhaustive. It is a learned thing to listen to ourselves however... we were robbed of trusting ourselves when affected by trauma. It is a thing I have begun to learn.

I have also learned in seeking out information on our soul or spiritual side... our intuitions.... that it is perfectly expected to take steps forward and then back. It helps us process more fully and truthfully. To learn to live in the moment, well, that is what every human needs to learn to live more fully at times!!!
Isn't that why we envy dogs??? lol

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I am so sorry that you are being threatened with hospitalization. I know what it's like because my family does the same thing to me. Hospitalization is a HUGE trigger to me because it represents a loss of control. Put me in a hospital and I go even further downhill because the emotional flashbacks become even more frequent and intense. Hugs.

 

[rringolangley2012]

One cannot overstate that this response to an interaction is in my opinion a form of PTSD. I have been struggling with this for many years as my parents not only yelled at me but belittled me. This combination is toxic and destroyed my self esteem. While I know that you should never place your worthiness in someone's hands as they do not own it, sometimes we just cannot see the difference.

In addition, kindness in our society is again in my opinion a greatly lacking commodity to selfishness and ego.

Ask yourself this question, would anyone feel badly or respond poorly to someone speaking to them in a very kind tone of voice? I think it is obvious and while most may consider this some Utopia which is unrealistic, it costs nothing and reaps untold amounts of love. This being said many of us with this condition gravitate towards what we know and find ourselves in the exact same situation with our spouse/partners as I now do.

While my wife does not yell at me much she does yell at many things and it triggers a response which causes me pain. People who have this condition are typically not aggressors and so this compounds the issue. If I do go back at my wife she is surprised to see me retaliate.

Sometimes like today in a family event out of the blue, I was yelled at for not doing something quickly and I withdrew from the current event at hand.

I know people cannot understand what I and others have been through but expect us to function normally. I do not know how to deprogram from this childhood trauma and will speak to my therapist but I'd have to say that sensitivity of others could really help towards recovery.