Feeling Greener Than The Grinch

[ms spock]

So are you seeing a psychriatrist or psychologist for your PTSD Bubzilla?

 

[HëllaBubz]

Psychologist......he's really good, although my New Year's resolution is to make sure I see him once a month for the next 12 months, things have been a little scattered and I'm noticing that my symptoms are getting worse again....

I find when I'm really tired that my startle reflex is much, much, much higher, and I tend to have spatial awareness difficulty, constantly knocking myself on avoidable things like door frames, table edges, etc.

Right now I'm in bed, enjoying a sunny day with a cool breeze, fluffy white clouds and sapphire skies, mum is texting me, we are playing scrabble on our phones together, my white sheets are clean and crisp and I had a very enjoyable snuggle with my partner this morning.....:sneaky::x3::whistling:

I also found out that his new partner is catering to the newborn's every need, getting up at the smallest sound and demanding that he do the same.... I think I'll just sit back and let karma do the rest.

Talking with every one on here has definitely helped me work through this......and although I'm still feeling a bit 'narky' and irritated about the whole topic, it is nowhere near as bad as it was before!

 

[HëllaBubz]

I also forgot to mention that the step mother in law had me over for dinner last night because of the whole Christmas Dinner debacle, and she was trying to say that my partner had read into things, and it was always assumed.....funny thing is, if I hadn't called the brother in law up to offer food, he would have never even contacted me to clarify or make sure I was coming.

Thinking about it, I am now certain that it was indeed deliberate, and my partner was NOT in the wrong.

Perhaps I should point that out if he ever decided to dig up the issue to use against us.

 

[ms spock]

Psychologist......he's really good, although my New Year's resolution is to make sure I see him once a month for the next 12 months, things have been a little scattered and I'm noticing that my symptoms are getting worse again....

So how does going once a month work for you? I am curious, if you don't mind me asking.

 

[HëllaBubz]

Lol, don't worry, ask all you want, I really don't mind!

I see him once a month, and he helps me look at what is on track, what I might be putting inappropriate importance on, etc.

We talk about my nightmares, how I'm going at work, and what effect heading back to work has had on me, and some of the things I can do to help lessen those symptoms, ie exercise, social, eating habits, etc.

We also talk about my current relationships with other people, ie brother in law, my partner, family, etc.

 

[HëllaBubz]

WOOT! I finally got a reply from a psychiatrist, and I'm going to start seeing him next year!
Hopefully this helps my recovery a bit more!

 

[Abstract]

Woot! indeed! :tup:

Bub, I think I would find having therapy once a month worse than not having it at all so credit to you.

 

[ms spock]

I would find it very hard as well Abstract.

 

[HëllaBubz]

Wow.....I only just realised that most of you go once a week.....I bloody well wish!
However, once the Medicare rebate kicks in, it will only end up costing me $29 per session, but the first and second appointments are $144 and $170 after rebate, so I'll have to save.

My partner and I can't afford for me to go once a week, it would have helped, but over here you are limited to 12 sessions (for a psychologist) per year which are bulk billed, after that it comes out of your own pocket!

Sometimes I go for up to 3 months without a session because getting out of the house and travelling an hour on public transport is just too traumatic for me.

However my new year's resolution is to make sure I get at least one appointment per month to help me get better.

 

[Abstract]

Bub,
I am sorry that you don't get more. I would not be able to speak literally. It's like I loose trust and when there is distance I close down. There is a strength in you that comes through and I think it does you credit. Please know that I understand how difficult it is.

I finished my allocated sessions with a charity and the distance created after that has kept me from getting back into T.

I am glad you are getting more support than before!:tup:

 

[HëllaBubz]

Abstract, thank you so much for your kind words, other people have said it, but to be honest I really don't see it.
I am really wanting to make a success of my life, it's the best revenge on anyone I think, and even though I had a minor meltdown yesterday, once I've allowed myself the mini breakdown, I then just have to get up and keep going.

I know what you mean about not being able to speak, I still have that now sometimes, where I am unable to articulate myself, and I've always been a well read and verbally articulate person, so it is extremely frustrating for me.

I know it's going to cost me a fair bit to start with, but if I am able to get along with this new psychiatrist, in the long run the sessions are not limited which means it won't cost nearly as much as originally thought.

I want to get better so badly, there will never be a 'normal' for me, but there has to be a better quality of life out there than what I am currently experiencing, and no one, family, in laws, or friends is going to get in the way of that.

I'll reach my goal if I can just tough it out a little longer, it's how I used to get through agonizing pain, just live for the moment where it no longer exists, pain relief is more exquisite than no pain at all.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I hear that about pain relief. It is such a wonderful feeling. I wish you well on this new chapter in your life. I think you express yourself quite well. Just my opinion. Hugs.