Feeling Guilt About Suicidal Thought

[Raj]

I have lot of guilt about feeling so much suicidal thought lately and anger at other for adding to the guilt. Recently I said I thought I should go to the hospital for little while as I don't feel in control/ not coping and had made plans of extreme harm.

The other people said what about us, how are we going to take care of our needs, after packing my bag to send me on my way, they then guilt tripped me!


I have extreme thought constantly right now/ Ironically guilt is holding me in place and causing rage at lack of concern. Isn't better to go to the hospital than not?

 

[Britt.f7]

Raj, what you need to do is take care of yourself regardless of the attempts at making you feel guilty. I understand about the guilt. Last year when I broke down and needed to be hospitalized, it took me several weeks to gather the courage to do so. I felt guilty about not being able to get out of my depression and SI. Thankfully, I had friends and family who did not encourage the guilt. I can only imagine that makes it so much harder.

Going into the hospital wasn't the easiest thing and I begged to leave as soon as they had me sign in. But I came out of there a stronger person and I don't regret it.

Guilt can be such a horrible barrier to our getting better. Don't let it be yours. If you feel you need to get to the hospital please go. Those other people will cope without you for awhile, until you get better. I wish you peace.

 

[Court]

I agree with Britt.f7 there were times in my life long ago I probably should have just gone to fix and better me but I had small children and a non supportive husband who said he would use it against me. I was stuck and I'm resentful still at times that the person who should love me the most didnt support me.

I turned to alcohol to comfort me and that didnt make anything any better. Sometimes other people are selfish and don't see the bigger picture which is your health.

I hope you can do what you need to for you and know there is no shame and they will get over. I wish you much luck!

Court

 

[DMerish]

Raj,
Guilt can stop us from doing things we know would be in our best interests; and guilt can stop us from doing things that aren't in the immediate interests of other people - which, as you say, is what's stopping . . .

You obviously have the presence of mind to distinguish between those two sources of guilt. Other people around you don't. They don't understand what you're going through or how to help. Your presence of mind telling you that what you're dealing might be best addressed in a hospital setting -

Raj, what you need to do is take care of yourself regardless of the attempts at making you feel guilty.

Try to suspend your own feelings of guilt and that which other's are inflicting, and the anger just a bit, and I think you'll agree that (in the long run) you can't take care of the needs others too well if you can't, or aren't, taking care of your own needs first. Trust your own knowing that you need help and seek it; get that help.

Strength and love surrounds you here -

Drew~

 

[TLight]

Bad selfish people.

Just take care of yourself. That's the most important thing.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

They are horribly selfish people! (Was this your wife/girlfriend/partner speaking?)

Well what if you end up completely non-functional or dead? (Ok, bad thought!) Then what? They'd have nobody!

Read between the lines. This is typical "pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get over it" behavior. If you need the help, go and get it now. Deal with the fallout later. (I personally wouldn't keep a partner who had no concern for my well being, but hey, that's just me!)

 

[Grace511]

I know how you feel Raj, No one in my family knows how I feel.

I've actually planned it out. If I carried the plan out they would feel guilty and blame themselves which I wouldn't want even though they are a huge part of the reason why.

Also I would feel guilty leaving them to deal with all the bills,seeing as I'm just a pay-check.
Then again, if I did it, none of this would matter.

Sometimes I think about just a) Checking myself in somewhere or b) Just doing it

 

[kahlan]

Take care of you first. If you are that distressed it needs attention and anyone who can't support your taking care of you is selfish. Don't let someone else guilt you into neglecting you're health and well-being!