Feeling like i'm plateauing in therapy

[AllisonStern]

I've hit a rough spot in therapy where I feel like we're at a place where it's nonproductive. This is the first therapist I've had that I felt I clicked really well with and she is a really good support, but we're now at this place where I feel like I'm coming in every week just talking about my day to day problems instead of actually working on trauma or mood disorder symptoms, which are the things that I'm really going to therapy for. For months now we've been talking about how she wants to start EMDR but is hesitant because she doesn't want to exacerbate mood symptoms, but I feel like she's dragging her feet in general.

Last therapy session she said something that I don't think she meant as offensive, but really made me question what her motivations were. She was talking about how the last couple of sessions we've had she felt I wasn't "myself" and that I was spending the entire time talking and not really letting her get a word in. She wondered if it was my meds, and I found it curious because she's always seemed against my second diagnosis (for no specific reason). I didn't know this was going on and usually I feel like I'm pretty good about tracking where I am in my mood cycle.

I guess I'm just at the point where I'm trying to decide if I should stick with this therapist? Are her reasons for dragging her feet valid? Should I seek a second opinion?

 

[Skywatcher]

I am curious how much experience she has. How long has she done emdr? Anytime I am stable enough, my emdr therapist is highly recommending that we work on the trauma stuff. She says that it is the root to most of my problems. You heal the trauma wounds and the present day problems become more manageable.

 

[AllisonStern]

@Skywatcher See, that's what I was thinking. I feel like she's not being straight with me and going about this backward, but I'm not the professional... I don't know how many years she's been practicing (she's senior staff at my university's counseling program) but I know she's a social worker with training in EMDR.

 

[Friday]

Before straight up looking for a new therapist I’d have the convo above... telling her that you’d like to do more trauma work rather than just day to day life stuff.

 

[barefoot]

I agree ^^^^
Say you want to dig into trauma stuff instead of here and now day to day stuff and see what she says.

She may be waiting for you to be explicit about wanting to do that stuff now so is going along with the day to day stuff that you’re bringing in the meantime until you say you want to do otherwise. I had a similar thing with my therapist - it was a good lesson for me in knowing that I had to drive my own therapy instead of expecting her to mind read that I wanted to do other stuff and then have her steer things that way.

It could be that she doesn’t think you’re stable enough to handle/get the most out of trauma work/EMDR at the moment.

It could be lots of things. A discussion about it with her will hopefully clarify whether you are both on the same page or not and how you move forwards.

 

[Justmehere]

telling her that you’d like to do more trauma work rather than just day to day life stuff.

And if she is resistant to doing more trauma work, ask for guidance and a plan to get to the point she is willing to do trauma work. Ask her how she can help you get there.

If you don’t do this already, consider asking for homework. Every week. Sometimes, my therapist says, “do something restful every day.” :) Other times, it’s “write a letter to your abuser.” :eek: I usually do the homework, and even if I don’t, it still helps propel us both forward toward my goals for treatment and my life.

In regards to her questioning if the meds for the second diagnosis are leading to your being overly talkative - that’s not actually in conflict with her disagreeing with the second diagnosis. Even if you don’t have that diagnosis, meds can change behavior in helpful and less than helpful ways.

If she is suggesting point blank you need more meds for the second diagnosis after she’s said she disagrees with that diagnosis, perhaps she’s considering if that diagnosis is accurate afterall. Either way, bring your questions about all of this into the open. It may be a good excercise in and of itself to pause on the day to day stuff that you bring into the sessions and ask about where you are at in treatment.