Feeling Like I'm Sealed In A Vacuum.

[nomedic1]

I feel like I am sealed in a vacuum, and nobody can get close to me, so I'm sealed off from emotion and intimacy. I just want someone to talk to I need to get out of this, I really do.

 

[Everhopeful]

Hello Nomedic, I read a previous posting of yours where you described where you have in the past, I gather worked, in hotspots in the world, amongst others the townships of South Africa.

I can just imagine the horrors you have witnessed, we are from South Africa and this country is steeped in a history of violence and human life is cheap here. The unthinkable happens here on a daily basis, the country is falling apart.

I am not a sufferer of PTSD, but have had a fairly dysfunctional childhood and currently am a supporter of a man with Complex PTSD ( due to childhood sexual abuse, highly dysfunctional family, drugs, gangsterism, subconciously seeking out old patterns of trauma and abuse in relationships) and Bipolar Mood Disorder. I hurt for him and for everyone in this crazy world who has had to endure and witness the unbearable. I hurt for myself too, to know what it is to lead a life of emotional numbness and isolation to some degree.

Just wanted to reach out and say please find whoever you can to speak to, I hope you can find someone safe and appropriate and containing. I hope you find a way out of the vacuum.

 

[nomedic1]

Thank you Everhopeful and I hope you find what you need from this site.

 

[Hope4future]

Hi, nomedic1,

I am in a similar place. I don't know what I can offer but I'm willing to talk.

 

[nomedic1]

Thank you hope4future

 

[Camus]

It tough. I can't relate to anyone. The longest relationship I ever had was perfect for me cause she didn't care where I was or what I did. I was abused as a kid, still have nightmares. Don't have any faith in myself. It's rough out there.

 

[Abstract]

I feel like I am sealed in a vacuum, and nobody can get close to me, so I'm sealed off from emotion and intimacy

I know this feeling Nomedic. For me I have realised its as if I get more and more sealed off the longer I am separated from others. I have realised that doing something to connect is the best even though the frightening and difficult thing. Sometimes it is impossible no matter what I do. Sometimes if I am lucky someone will will reach out to me and reach me and that will break it a little. Often it feels like I am being sucked into a black hole. That is how I describe it.

I just want someone to talk

This is what makes me think you might be feeling similarly. I hope there is someone that you can reach out to or someone who will reach out to you.

You don't deserve to be alone. You are important.

 

[nomedic1]

I was lucky enough to find someone on this sight, that listened, but I unfortunately started triggering them so we decided to stop talking to each other, they made me aware of my emotional state, so I guess its my battle to fight now.

 

[Abstract]

Nomedic, are you in therapy?

 

[nomedic1]

Yes with a P&T, they have give me the tools to deal with my dreams.

 

[nomedic1]

I just can't seem to get through this, I am going to ask you guys as a forum so I hopefully don't trigger, I have no emotional connection to my wife, I think she has had enough of me, I am just there to help pay the bills.

 

[ms spock]

As you are feeling disconnected at the moment you might not be in the best state to assess your relationship nomedic1. Just a thought.