Feeling like vomiting

[Deleted member 28942]

Hi,

I am having some strong emotional reaction since last EMDR session on Monday. The session was about my mom putting down my creativity. I am putting a lot of effort to get back in touch with that suppressed part. Creativity and art gave me meaning when I was a child but I she kept putting me down. We processed the memory on Monday afternoon. Since then I've been feeling a lot of strong feelings. I really got in touch with the hurting part as a child. I cry every day. I feel the deep hurt and loss. I really feel how harmful and hurtful that has been on me. How it has robbed me of the most beautiful part of myself. The most sacred and spiritual part. Even writing this I am sobbing. I also these past few days as the emotions are coming and I am trying to talk back to the inner critic I feel a strong feeling of wanting to vomit. It even hurts in my belly and my throat. The things my mom did were inhumane. The cruelty she had towards me is truly disgusting. I experience it as if I want to vomit the self-hate my mother instilled in me.

Anyhow, back on track. Has anyone had this strong sense of wanting to vomit thinking of this kind od memories or related to EMDR? Did you keep processing the memories with EMDR? Does it go away? What do you do with it?

The post is emotional but I am fine. Safe in my apartment nothing horrible is happening. I have an early meeting with my CBT therapists tomorrow morning.

 

[Rainsong]

I can relate. I didnt have that feeling until after I went through intensive trauma therapy two years ago. Now I have that "feeling like vomiting" when I think about my family, and it gets too much. I think it's because my mind finally grasped what my childhood was really like, and that it actually happened. I get the vomiting feeling mostly when my mind goes to thinking about how much denial is happening in my family, and how f*cked up it is. I haven't tried emdr yet.

 

[Deadman]

When I was still having fairly frequent flashbacks to mass graves and dead children I would also experience waves of nausea. Sometimes I would just have an overwhelming urge to vomit even without the flashback.

Eventually I recalled a girl that was in the ward I worked on long ago. She was being treated for an eating disorder. Whenever staff or family tried to talk to her she would start gagging as if she was going to vomit. The psychiatrist discovered that if he said,"Its OK to vomit if you need to", she would immediately stop gagging.

I started using that trick on myself. I would just tell myself it was OK to vomit. Sometimes I did it outloud. Sometimes just in my head. Either way it helped push the nausea away.

 

[Deleted member 28942]

@Deadman thanks for the trick. I will give it a try next time it happens.