Feeling suicidal

[MrMoonlight]

I have been very strong my whole life, but sometimes I'm just not strong enough.

It was just a couple weeks ago that my own suicidal thoughts became too much for me. Like you reached out and found help from some very special people (to me) on this site. There is something different talking to people that fight the same battles. We are so lucky to have found each other....and please know you are strong enough.

I am very happy to know things a looking up for you today. Sending positive mojo and gentle hugs.

I hope you can take some time to rest...this stuff takes so very much from the reserves.

 

[freebird]

There is something different talking to people that fight the same battles

Yes it is very different isn't it? I feel like it is so engrained in our minds to be on the defensive alot (at least for me), and it really feels incredible and liberating to feel that there are people who have been there and are there with you.

I'm so happy to hear that this forum got you through those dark moments a couple weeks ago @MrMoonlight. Also sending you positive mojo:)

I feel the bad feelings lifting slowly but surely. It's been a few rough days. However, like you all say, the feeling does pass. Again, going to start over tomorrow, make one tiny goal at a time. This time I should remember to take my medication in the morning, and then reward that goal with a hot cocoa.

Thanks guys:hug:

oops sorry about that. forgot to put the quote thing in the right place....my bad.

 

[ladee]

@freebird, I am so proud of you !!! This is how this works..... we reach out, and are met with people who understand because so many of us have been there so many times.... not only proud you reached out, but you let others reassure you, that it will pass... you gave yourself a chance to see if that was true.... and you are climbing out of the rabbit hole.... you did the work to help yourself... and that is tremendous work...
I am so glad you are here.... you make a difference because you showed others how to take a chance and hear what was being said to you. That is 'teaching' others.... you made a beautiful contribution.....

Please come back and share when you want to and when you don't want to... especially the later.

Very happy you are feeling better...... sending you lots of gentle hugs for being a warrior.....warriors need hugs too...

 

[Deleted member 37085]

you make a difference because you showed others how to take a chance and hear what was being said to you.

So well put @ladee...it is like you above-shared...those who take a chance and listen to members' experiences in here...then this warrior allows members to share with them...that make it worth the risk of posting to them...that is so vitally important...like you said.

And then...hopefully, they in turn...hang around and give back by doing same to another struggling warrior(s). Yay!

 

[freebird]

Wow you guys are so wise. It's mind-blowing. I have a lot to learn from you.

Also proud of you guys too! Everyone here!

 

[ladee]

Sometimes @freebird, when we are so tired, and so down, we wonder why we hang in here and many times ask our self , what is the point to all this.... it's because everyone here is students and teachers... both at the same time.... and when we can share from our own experience how something changed or shifted in a better direction... we are helping others who aren't there yet... even reading a thread that I think has nothing to do with what is going on with me.. I will read the words that everything clicks into place....

And you hung in there.... that is so encouraging... so full of hope.... and knowing now you have a few new tools and lots of support the next time things get bad, that you can and will get thru it...... and it validates what we are doing to stay safe at the same time.... it's a huge circle with love and support and understanding... those of us who are lucky enough to be here.... we do have a better chance at getting this thing manageable...

Very happy you are a part of this huge tribe of Yes We Can !!!! Gentle hugs.

 

[freebird]

*Hugs back*

I don't really know what to say lol. I told dh what happened on here and that I felt this feeling...idk how to explain it, like finally belonging somewhere, and not just pretending I belong somewhere. But actually being encouraged for who I am without conditions.

My whole life I was taught if I wanted to be accepted, I had to earn it. But it is such a different feeling like what @MrMoonlight said when you are accepted just for being who you are.

Can't thank you guys enough...will continue learning.:bookworm::happy:

As I read your guy's experiences I feel you are warriors too, and I look up to you @JadesJewel, @ladee, @Rain, @mumstheword, @MrMoonlight and everyone who has been reading.

 

[Deleted member 37085]

it's because everyone here is students and teachers... both at the same time

I too continue to see my self as a student...and hopefully am helping to give back and extend my arm downward as I am reaching upward...and yes...my life is shifting and changing into a much healthier direction as you said.

I can also see my PTSD recovery growth perhaps through another thread that 's been posted, and through another member who is struggling through something that I'd been through, etc.

And this is all occurring when I'm simply trying to help beloved members here (as I was so lovingly helped) and when we are at times all struggling and trying in this community to simply learn and grow in our PTSD recovery and all our teachers and students like you above-shared @ladee.

That is why I too continue to remain here in this forum. For it's not all just altruistic.

For I am continuing to learn as I share to/from all members here more now in subtle nuances through additional information posted here (and some repetitive information posted here), and some older knowledge that I'd missed...and also that I've forgotten to apply in my current life situations now.

It's like you 've said...I'll read a thread and boom-shaka-laka-laka...a missing piece to my recovery puzzle...will just simply fall into place.

So I am beyond grateful to ALL of the members here who were here when I joined...and also who've joined after I'd become a member here.

Those who've joined following my joining...seem (like I used to) to feel the unnecessary need to always be apologizing and/or be in awe of the generous responses (which I was as well) from so many members here...that they are so generously receiving.

And we are simply giving back what we've been so blessed to have received here in the forum.

When again in all honesty...we're are all continuing to try and learn and grow...with one another...one...to...the...other! Beautiful!

 

[mumstheword]

I'm almost crying now, eyes welling (in a good way).
I felt like that too when.I happened upon this site. It's changing my life, my outlook, my sense of self and giving me hope that I didn't have before.
So glad you are with us @freebird !!!

 

[freebird]

So grateful to be here!

 

[Deleted member 37085]

@freebird and @mumstheword...I know personally do understand how you both feel/have felt...and I'm so glad you all are here!

 

[Mellieollie]

I'm so overwhelmed right now. Can't focus, or concentrate. I have things I need to get done but my min...

Oh glad you posted but hate you are having very hard time..prayer for you...