Feeling That My T No Longer Cares

[CelticHarp]

Yesterday I had a skype therapy session planned and it did not work out.

It said she was away or offline. Her two calls that came through were dropped by skype within a few seconds. My skype call to her was not answered. I tried emailing then calling her on the phone, but she has not responded.

It took her 5 days to get back to me another time when I emailed her. I feel I can't wait another 5 days now.

How long should it take for her to respond?

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

It´s really difficult to give an indication of how long it "should" take because therapists are also people, and like anyone, faced with unexpected work, family circumstances, their own trouble, etc, etc.

Did you tell her you feel this way? Then she´ll have a chance to clarify. You might want to indicate that it makes you feel insecure and, if possible, tell her that consistency is important for you.

Don´t judge her without her side of the story, is my advice. PTSD often makes us think negatively of people even when that is not the case. And if it is the case, you will find out, and then you can make a decision.

Edit to add: maybe you can agree on some rules with her. Like that she messages you within three days, even if it is just to say that she read your mail and will get back at you.

 

[CelticHarp]

Yes, I think it is important for me to tell her how I feel. That would be something new for me to do. I wonder what her side of the story is.

 

[digger]

It sounds like she was having technical problems her end with Skype. It's possible that it could be something affecting her email too? Throw the weekend into the mix and I think I would give her the benefit of the doubt for now and wait till Monday, then try checking in with her again.

Agree with radise that it would be good to let her know how it left you feeling though so it can hopefully be avoided in future.

 

[rainbow1]

Sorry to hear this happened. I personally think 5 days is unacceptable to wait. Skype can be a really good tool but yes sometimes it goes wrong.

Sessions with my T are now 99% by skype. We always have the phone as a back up encase of technical difficulties on the day. Technical difficulties were something we discussed before starting skype sessions and we put in place a procedure so that if the call dropped I knew I was the one to call back or if I couldn't get him on skype then I was to call the mobile straight away. It is your Ts responsibility to put these things in place.

I would discuss this with her and find out what went wrong and why she took so long to get back to you.

 

[CelticHarp]

Thank you for sharing your opinions and thoughts.

Waiting till monday is a good idea.

She probably did not have my number to call me...even though I had given it to her before and again yesterday. She probably won't call me. We have only ever communicated via email.

Thanks, Rainbow, for explaining how things work with your T.

I don't think she will email me either. I'll have to ask for another appointment in order to discuss things.

 

[EveHarrington]

Imho it's completely unacceptable.

I HIGHLY doubt that all of her access is tied into the same technology-----does she skype on her phone? I'd sort of find that odd for a therapy session.

And IF this was the case, why isn't she high tailing it to another connection to explain things to you?

She sounds like an unreliable flaky person to me.

Technology isn't an excuse for a 5 day period of silence. I think she's unprofessional.

 

[CelticHarp]

Hi all,

It has been a year and there is still no consistency. She will change, cancel, or shift 1/4 to 1/3 of the appointments we have together. Nothing happens when she misses a session, but when I do then I pay for the session.

Once Skype has not worked on my end. She wrote and said "You have 5 minutes to get back to me or I have to cancel." I thought a therapist would wait 15 or 20 minutes.

On Monday I had no internet connection. Seeing she does not like to wait, I called and gave 20 minutes notice to cancel. 5 minutes later I was back on line. So with 15 minutes left I tried calling. No answer. I am furious. I know I cancelled, but am I over reacting?

I'd like to tell her that I pre-pay and in the future WAIT!

 

[Suzetig]

Honestly, I'd be telling her goodbye.

 

[Deleted member 41765]

Agree with the above! ^

Goodbye and unacceptable.

 

[UnicornSightings]

Omg find someone else!!!! Please!

 

[CelticHarp]

Wow. I hear you loud and clear.

Thank you for the clarity.

I will interview another therapist soon.

It is hard to break away.