Feeling Unwanted And Unloved

[ms spock]

4. A fear that underneath, they are just like the abusive parent and that, therefore, they are inherently evil or are a "bad seed."

Source: [DLMURL]http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=28473&cn=41[/DLMURL]

This scares the living hell out of me!
ms spock

 

[ms spock]

I first became convinced that my parents did not love me when I was 7 years old.

That is a huge thing to know when you are seven. At eight my mother was there with the other children out side the door where my father was sexually abusing me.

I decided not to kill myself so as not to make it easy for my parents to get off for what they did.

I really feel for you!
ms spock

 

[atl22]

My mother was sexually abused by my grandmother's second husband. She made many mistakes but given her background, she did the best she could. She did drugs. She abandoned me multiple times. She left me with a drunk father that beat me and terrorized me. But I forgive her and now we have a great relationship. If I had gone through what she had, I probably would not have done as well as she did. I emphasize the positive. When I did live with her, she protected me from predators and made sure that we were never alone with my step-grandfather that abused her. Even though she abandoned me, maybe that was for the best. She never physically abused me.

My father - I just don't speak with. There's nothing to say. He is still the same and still a drunk and he will die without ever seeing me again.

 

[ms spock]

I am glad it worked out for you with your mother. Gosh you needed a break there atl22!

 

[Sandra]

My father - I just don't speak with. There's nothing to say. He is still the same and still a drunk and he will die without ever seeing me again.

That sounds like my brother and myself. On a rare occasion I might see him at a family funeral but if I do I keep my back to him. As he just isn't worth my time.

 

[Sandra]

I hear you on that Ms Spock about the need to be unwanted.

I can be more of a drifter. Since I might not feel wanted. Even though other's have done nothing to cause that, this is coming from within myself.

 

[Sandra]

I get scared and sabotage the relationship.

Sometimes it didn't happen this way. As I got to know these people more they had different goals in life then I did. So I stepped back and wished them well and I hope they were able to reach their goals..

 

[ms spock]

Gosh I feel lonely, unwanted and unloved today.

My birthday on Saturday was a fizzer.

My aunt sent me this bizarre card to me not mentioning my birthday.

My mother sent her usual weird card. My sister sent flowers with a guilt trip.

One day I will have the money to move away from here.
ms spock