I feel like I have had a lot of successes this whole past week, but even just today!
- I bought myself tickets to a basketball game I really wanted to go to, even when I thought I didn't deserve it. I got the tickets for the same night my friend will be flying back to California, and it'll be my first night on my own, all the way across the country. I am really scared, and knew I would have a hard time functioning once she left if I were not kept busy.
- I bought tickets to go see a movie I really want to see on Christmas Eve. I will be going by myself, which seems weird and may feel difficult and scary, because how many people do you ever see going to a movie by themselves? Not many... especially on Christmas Eve. I knew it would be difficult for me that day though, so tried to do something nice for myself, because if I didn't then it would be quite difficult for me to function and I'd end up resorting to drinking and/or pills.
- I have an intake set up with a T that runs group therapy. I talked to her on the phone for a while today. I actually scheduled an appointment. I almost asked if I could call her back to schedule, but knew I may back out, so made myself do it. It wasn't as bad as I thought, and I'm feeling pretty good about myself for it.
- I have made several phone calls and left several voice mails today, to start setting up things for therapy, doctors, etc in Boston. I hate making phone calls, I freak out. I never leave messages. But today, I did it. And I am about to send out several more emails- I have had all of the phone I can take for one afternoon and turned my phone off because it ringing would work me up into yet another panic attack right now. Maybe I am a wuss for turning it off for the afternoon. Maybe I should have left it on. But I recognized that's not what I need. What I need is for it to be off. What I need is to be allowed to relax.
- I scheduled some acupuncture appointments for once I am in Boston.
- I've been hanging out in the student study lounge. I have gone outside every time I need to make a phone call, then come back in. There's a group of about 10 people in here who have been being VERY loud. One of the posted rules of the study lounge is cell phones must be silenced or at least on vibrate, and there is no study groups allowed, and no long conversations or talking. It's supposed to be a place where students can go to study quietly by themselves. There are study group rooms in the library for groups, and there is a hang out area right outside the study lounge for people who want to have conversations... so this group being really loud was getting me anxious, being distracting so I can't focus on doing things I need to do, and putting me in a bad mood. So I actually walked up to them, even though I didn't know them and there were a lot of them, and asked them politely to please be quiet or take their business outside. When they didn't listen, I approached them again and asked nicely again, informing them I would call campus authorities to come ask them if they didn't listen to me this time. I am NEVER that assertive! Normally I would have just sat in a corner and been upset and frustrated with them, but would have never had the nerve to approach them and stand up to them!
- I bought myself tickets to a basketball game I really wanted to go to, even when I thought I didn't deserve it. I got the tickets for the same night my friend will be flying back to California, and it'll be my first night on my own, all the way across the country. I am really scared, and knew I would have a hard time functioning once she left if I were not kept busy.
- I bought tickets to go see a movie I really want to see on Christmas Eve. I will be going by myself, which seems weird and may feel difficult and scary, because how many people do you ever see going to a movie by themselves? Not many... especially on Christmas Eve. I knew it would be difficult for me that day though, so tried to do something nice for myself, because if I didn't then it would be quite difficult for me to function and I'd end up resorting to drinking and/or pills.
- I have an intake set up with a T that runs group therapy. I talked to her on the phone for a while today. I actually scheduled an appointment. I almost asked if I could call her back to schedule, but knew I may back out, so made myself do it. It wasn't as bad as I thought, and I'm feeling pretty good about myself for it.
- I have made several phone calls and left several voice mails today, to start setting up things for therapy, doctors, etc in Boston. I hate making phone calls, I freak out. I never leave messages. But today, I did it. And I am about to send out several more emails- I have had all of the phone I can take for one afternoon and turned my phone off because it ringing would work me up into yet another panic attack right now. Maybe I am a wuss for turning it off for the afternoon. Maybe I should have left it on. But I recognized that's not what I need. What I need is for it to be off. What I need is to be allowed to relax.
- I scheduled some acupuncture appointments for once I am in Boston.
- I've been hanging out in the student study lounge. I have gone outside every time I need to make a phone call, then come back in. There's a group of about 10 people in here who have been being VERY loud. One of the posted rules of the study lounge is cell phones must be silenced or at least on vibrate, and there is no study groups allowed, and no long conversations or talking. It's supposed to be a place where students can go to study quietly by themselves. There are study group rooms in the library for groups, and there is a hang out area right outside the study lounge for people who want to have conversations... so this group being really loud was getting me anxious, being distracting so I can't focus on doing things I need to do, and putting me in a bad mood. So I actually walked up to them, even though I didn't know them and there were a lot of them, and asked them politely to please be quiet or take their business outside. When they didn't listen, I approached them again and asked nicely again, informing them I would call campus authorities to come ask them if they didn't listen to me this time. I am NEVER that assertive! Normally I would have just sat in a corner and been upset and frustrated with them, but would have never had the nerve to approach them and stand up to them!
