Feeling Very Unstable Right Now

[FindingMyself88]

I am trying my hardest not to lose it right now..It has been 3 weeks since I've seen my therapist and so much has happened. Plan was to see her tomorrow, but now due to weather it looks like that will not happen.

I have never went this long without seeing her, and right now I'm at one of my lower places. I've been battling self harm issues and I am struggling so bad right now! I have so much built up inside me I feel like its going to explode.

I've been trying to journal and use coping skills to get through this already long time, but nothing has worked. I can't get out on paper whats in my head. I needed so bad to go in tomorrow and tell her Im a wreck but I can't even begin to describe it… I need my safe place!

Am I crazy? I literally feel like my world is falling apart right now…And she is always booked, so it will probably be another week or more… I don't know if I can do this….

 

[NukaGirl]

Is there any way you can phone her? Talk to her that way? Are there any phone services like Breathing Space?

 

[FindingMyself88]

no her office is shut down and thats the only way to reach her and by email but she can't respond to email unless she is in office :(

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Can you call a crisis line?

 

[FindingMyself88]

im chatting with someone right now…i hate this soooo much!

 

[ggsparky]

Pray. God can help.... And call a friend. talk to someone in person

 

[Laurajayne27]

Why is that you 'need' to tell her how you feel? Is it because she's unavailable that you've started felling like your in a crisis?

I really do understand that feeling of heightened emotions and needing to get it out it's very painful.

 

[FindingMyself88]

I've been feeling like this for a while…she is the only person i can talk to about whats been going on…plus some stuff has happened today that has had me triggered…I've cut the heck out of my leg earlier just trying to deal with it all..

 

[FindingMyself88]

i kept telling myself if i could just get to tomorrow…and now thats not an option :(

 

[Abstract]

Take a moment and breath. You have an enormous amount on your plate at the moment. Anyone would be overwhelmed.

You don't know for sure that you will have to wait for a week. I would see if you can calm yourself a little and put it all in an email for your t for when she gets in. In the meantime use crises lines as much as you need to and if you feel seriously at risk go to hospital and see if they can help you. Do you have a friend who you can ask to visit you?

What can you do to ground yourself and get some emotion regulation skills working? What would your DBT t say to you right now?

 

[Laurajayne27]

…she is the only person i can talk to about whats been going on…

Yet here you are reaching out, that's not a true statement.. Sorry to challenge you but you seem to be up in the air.

 

[FindingMyself88]

i emailed her telling her i don't think i can wait a week and to call me if she had a cancellation..

I've texted my roommate to see if she would come out of room, but so far she hasn't…its too unsafe to drive anywhere..

I've tried all my normal coping skills over and over like my regular T has told me to do in past, but nothing is working…its all just too much