Relationship Fiance has ptsd and picks on me..blames everything on me.

[Sweetpea76]

If i say FK OFF.. it means love me from a distance. You go stay and live somewhere else but please care for me.

How'd you like it if somebody who supposedly loved you did that to you?

We're people too. Our feelings matter. We aren't mind readers.

You don't get to kick somebody out of their home because you aren't feeling well, then still expect them to wait on you. Grow up.

 

[shatter eyes]

How'd you like it if somebody who supposedly loved you did that to you?

We're people too. Our feel...

Sorry as i did not mean to offend anybody at all. I am only sharing what went on in my similar experience where i pushed my loved one away.

My experience was VERY similar and i was compelled to share from the "drunken playstation" side.

What i shared is my insight looking back and spoke for the earlier self. Yes I did grow up.
Without aggravation or triggers today I can say "I am sorry for my behavior. I want to get better and do not know how or where to begin. I love you and I need you." Then possibly start stuttering lose my words, breakdown or break the playstation.

Thanks for understanding that I was only speaking on my earlier experience. I did not mean to offend anyone.

 

[MollyB]

Thanks everyone.
I really have to evaluate this relationship. He finds negativity in everything that I say but he's fine with everyone else. I can't even start a conversation with him. I just don't care anymore. I know it sounds bad :'( I feel awful. But I just don't have that energy to put up with him belittling me any longer. It's his birthday soon and every year, I do something for him or get him something he really wants/likes. He's never done anything for me for my birthday or anniversaries and blames it on his ptsd..I don't even complain and just tells him that I understood. But this year, I just don't care and I feel numb- zombie ish.. just not my happy self any longer.
One time, he told me that I was going to find him hanging in our room when I get home.. He also said he was going to stab himself. Shoot himself. After repeating all that for months, I just don't care anymore.. I feel like a very bad person. But I know this relationship is not good for me or my well being.

 

[EveHarrington]

There is ptsd and then there is being a jerk.

This guy is a jerk!

He can't do anything for you on a birthday or anniversary? Poppycock! I had an ex say the same BS to me.....but you know what? It's a bunch of shit. My birthday means something to me so my partner better do something special! It's called loving someone. You do things for them even if it isn't your thing.

Bottom line, this guy is selfish. Yes, he is selfish!

I'm a very giving person and I FINALLY met someone who is incredibly giving as well. We both have a history of having selfish partners. I told him that selfish people need to go and all date one another and let us giving people date other giving people so that we don't get sucked dry with nothing to show for it.

 

[clally]

Molly B you're not a bad person. Your partner is using you to take out all of his frustration and anger because he knows you will put up with it.. That's why he's normal around everyone else because they wouldn't put up with the excuse of PTSD for his horrible behaviour and they would leave and never look back. He is afraid to be alone because his problems would be his and not yours anymore. If you want to leave you can, put the crisis number on his fridge, tell his family and friends you're leaving him so they can be around to make sure he doesn't do anything. You can't stay in an abusive relationship because he might hurt himself, he is doing you damage. Go stay with your family or friends. Don't stay because you're afraid of restarting your life. You're responsible for your own happiness and no one elses!

 

[Justmehere]

He's never done anything for me for my birthday or anniversaries and blames it on his ptsd..

Under symptoms for ptsd, it does not list "being a jerk." I have PTSD, and I still do something to celebrate birthdays and anniversaries of those I care about.

I just don't care anymore. I know it sounds bad :'( I feel awful. But I just don't have that energy to put up with him belittling me any longer.

It does not sound bad at all, it sounds like the most healthy thing you have posted.

It's not healthy for you OR HIM to just tolerate hurtful behavior by him over and over. It keeps him stuck and you enmeshed.

I feel like a very bad person.

Time to separate out who you are as a person with who you choose to be in a relationship with. They are two different things.