Filing ada stuff with employer?

[whiteraven]

I am struggling in ways I have never struggled, with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. My work situation intensifies everything I am feeling and all of the behaviors I have been working on to improve. It had gotten to the point where my anxiety reactions seemed almost conditioned, so that when I was on my way to work or on my way anywhere that took me along the same route, my heart rate increased, I'd tear up, I'd get an intense sense of dread, and I was sure I was going to die.

Now, that is a constant. I've talked with my therapist in excruciating detail about the stuff that is going on at work and he agrees that management is bullying, toxic, and not functioning in a professional manner. That I am reacting appropriately, given what I am dealing with.

While I am trying to find other work, it is *very* hard, because I make pretty good money where I am (with relatively good benefits and a flexible schedule as needed) and it's hard to find something full-time in my field at my age

I am struggling in ways I have never struggled, with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. My...

Sorry. Wasn't finished...

...I absolutely NEED to leave this environment. I know that. Actually, I need to be working at home, I think. Not at all sure how to proceed with that, given I have no cushion and I really don't know where to find work that will pay enough to support me.

Anyway, my therapist mentioned the possibility of - until I am able to create a better situation - filing with ADA and seeing if at least some of the important things were taken care of while I had to be there.

He said this as I was walking out the door, so we didn't really get to discuss it, and I haven't had a chance to research it yet, but am wondering if anyone here has some insight? Is this something you need to go through disability for? Or do you just need a diagnosis?

I'm going to research it and will talk with him about it further, but thought I'd just start a dialogue here.

Thanks,
whiteraven

 

[Muted]

What is ADA?

 

[desiderata310]

What is ADA?

Americans with Disabilities Act
basically a set of laws set in place to have fair play in the workplace for those who have any disability from blindness to missing a limb to psychiatric disabilities.

 

[whiteraven]

What is ADA?

Oh, sorry, @Muted. I see @desiderata310 explained.

 

[Muted]

No problem! Obviously I'm not familiar with ADA and the process, but I completely understand being in that type of work situation. I started having to work on the overload from the toxic work stuff in therapy and had to stop working on my past trauma. I finally quit my job. I don't know what I'm going to do now, but I'm ready to move past the trauma.

I hope you find a solution, it's a tough decision to make, but I don't regret it. I miss the work, but I made the decision that I needed to make for me and my family. I went back to visit after a few months and could feel the pressure and tension in my body rise and it only reconfirmed how toxic it was and I'm glad I quit.

 

[whiteraven]

No problem! Obviously I'm not familiar with ADA and the process, but I completely understand being in tha...

Sorry you had this issue, too. This is the hardest thing I've had to deal with in recent years. I need to leave and I know that, but my financial situation just will not permit it at the moment. Anything I do even short-term to get me out of this job will just make matters worse, so I'm trying to ride this situation out until I can come up with a more amenable solution.

 

[Muted]

Anything I do even short-term to get me out of this job will just make matters worse, so I'm trying to ride this situation out until I can come up with a more amenable solution.

I get that, because that's where I was for approx. a year before I quit. It only got worse and worse and took a huge toll on me and my family. We had just gotten to a comfortable income level also, but a number of years ago....I toughed out being assaulted, harassed and mentally tortured in a job and came extremely close to killing myself and it has taken me years to even begin to process it.

I didn't want my family and I to have to ever be to that point again to where either one of us was forced to endure hell at a job. It's not worth it, it takes too long to heal. I'd rather starve to death and actually be dead than to be physically present, but emotionally gone.

It's one thing for kids and a spouse to lose a parent to physical death, but it's a million times worse to lose them to a state of mental dissociation. Kids don't get that, it's like ok it looks Mom's HERE to my eyes but she's really NOT, because she can't see me, can't hear me, doesn't hardly talk and her eyes are empty and sad looking. I'm mostly out of my 'mental coma' now but I can't EVER get the years back and me, my husband and my kids pay the price for that every single day years and years later, that is what continues to haunts me on a daily basis. You wake up and wonder, where did all that time go? A monthly paycheck can't buy back that time. I would rather starve to death and still put every dollar I have even if I have to sell everything I own in order to pay my counseling bill each month in order for my kids to have a Mom that's not numb.

Sorry, I'm on my soapbox. You have to do what's right for you in your situation. I don't know your particular exact situation, but I do understand giving up an entire career and giving up all my career dreams, education and talents. When I quit my job, I did that. But, I'm glad that I get a choice to choose what I will and I won't tolerate from supervisors and employers. I don't know what I'm going to do about anything anymore, but I'm fed up with the system and the people who just don't get it.

I hope you can get help so you don't have to endure another miserable day at your job. It's a tough decision, but take all the time you need to figure it out. Either way you choose, you have to be ready to make that decision, because either way there are consequences and or challenges as a result. Please let us know if we can help or if you just need to talk.

 

[whiteraven]

Thank you, @Muted. I'm facing a very difficult week this week and a review on Friday. I will know more after that what direction I will take. What I am hoping - barring anything unforeseen - is that I can take the next few months and plan for leaving, working on a couple of very short skills courses I need/want to take for new work, and find work I can do at home.

I'm in such a horrible place right now. I feel like I'm recovering from surgery. I really need to pull all my support together and work toward healing and trying to move forward. It's so hard, though, because it really will require putting me first and even though I thought I was doing that all this time (I actually thought I was being hugely selfish), I really haven't.

Thanks again.

 

[Muted]

I think it's great you have a plan @whiteraven .
It sounds like you know what you need to do. I was glad that I waited until I was ready and we were prepared, because we don't regret the decision we made. I'm glad you have support, because it can be hard to place your own healing (oxygen on) first. You getting healed is only going to help those around you in the long run also.

One of the things we did that really helped is started saving as much as we could and seeing what the very least was that we could live on for a budget if worse came to worse and I couldn't get a job when I was able to work again. We've cut back in areas too, but tried to be realistic so we aren't doing completely without things we need.