For the past month I have been reading on ptsd and I came upon this forum. I have read some of the comments here and it feels so great to know that I am not alone in this frightened process of healing from ptsd and finally realizing that having ptsd does not mean I am crazy or a drama queen.
At this point I do not want to reveal too much information on my ptsd. I am a survivor of child sexual abuse, a former prisoner of war and a domestic violence victim. Most importantly, I am a proud mom of two very strong boys and hopefully, I will be able to overcome the effects of ptsd and live a happier life.
I am currently in therapy and it is very difficult for me to open up to the therapist and authentically express my feelings since I am unable to actually verbalize my inner emotions. I feel completely empty and numb. Yet the therapist feels a tremendous compassion towards me when she listens to my narrative trauma events. These past two weeks, I have become much stronger and more compassionate towards myself but once I leave my therapy session, I am completely exhausted and end up sleeping the day off.
Currently, I have become more reserved and I tell my family that I am ok but it is not true. It is just a farce I put up because I do not want to hear anymore that I have to forget the past and move on with my life. Yet, all of us in this forum knos that it is mot so simple. Easy to say but hard to put in practice. I guess this is what has attracted me to this forum- I can get support without feeling I am a burden to anyone or creating stress to my loved ones. I want to heal, as long as it takes, without the guilt and remorse I think I cause the people closest to me.
I am hoping this forum will embrace me as s new member and somehow support me while I continue my path of healing through therapy for the traumas I have endured through my life...
At this point I do not want to reveal too much information on my ptsd. I am a survivor of child sexual abuse, a former prisoner of war and a domestic violence victim. Most importantly, I am a proud mom of two very strong boys and hopefully, I will be able to overcome the effects of ptsd and live a happier life.
I am currently in therapy and it is very difficult for me to open up to the therapist and authentically express my feelings since I am unable to actually verbalize my inner emotions. I feel completely empty and numb. Yet the therapist feels a tremendous compassion towards me when she listens to my narrative trauma events. These past two weeks, I have become much stronger and more compassionate towards myself but once I leave my therapy session, I am completely exhausted and end up sleeping the day off.
Currently, I have become more reserved and I tell my family that I am ok but it is not true. It is just a farce I put up because I do not want to hear anymore that I have to forget the past and move on with my life. Yet, all of us in this forum knos that it is mot so simple. Easy to say but hard to put in practice. I guess this is what has attracted me to this forum- I can get support without feeling I am a burden to anyone or creating stress to my loved ones. I want to heal, as long as it takes, without the guilt and remorse I think I cause the people closest to me.
I am hoping this forum will embrace me as s new member and somehow support me while I continue my path of healing through therapy for the traumas I have endured through my life...
