Finally I Break Through The Darkness And See The Light.

[Deleted member 20280]

I loved to dance and write stories and poems, let my Imagination develop.

I see my journey as nearing its end, the clouds are finally dissipating from my vision. I am nearing the end of the darkest times in my life, fresh air awaits me on the other side.

My darkness is being beaten back by the brightness to come.

They may have beaten me black and blue as a child but the never broke my spirit.

My spirit carries on and is stronger now. They are failing in their mission to keep me subservient and down-trodden.

Life is there for the taking and I am finally taking the part of life intended for me, to enjoy.

Enjoyment as a child was hidden from me, but as I discover the posibilites ahead, my heart yearns to discover the secrets and enjoyment that I can gain from a fulfilled life.

I was but a mere child when they locked me away, beat me to sleep, just to keep me quiet. When he held me down and violated my tender young soul.

Now, I am a man as life intended I should become, they and can no longer hurt, or abuse me. I stand strong now and face them, they, they shrink into insignificance as my outward power now shines in their faces.

They are dazzled at what I have become despite them, my light devours their filthy souls and blinds their vision.

I! have finally won! and they! are shrivelled into the insignificance that life intended for them.

Abusers never win in the end, and the downtrodden, hurt little child within all of us can finally break through, like the catterpillar escaping it's crysalis.

I was that Caterpllar, NOW I am that Butterfly.

Despite their hardest attempts to breakdown my resolve, they have failed. My future is in the sun now and I will flutter on the winds of time from now on. Being admired for my majesty and grace.

Finally I have won.

Laurence Davey aged 43 and PROUD to have fought PTSD and SURVIVED!

( I am actually crying tears of Joy at the final realisation that no one can ever hurt me anymore. I was powerless to stop HIM raping me and I was but a very small helpless little boy when SHE used to throw me across the room.)

I am not that small helpless little boy any more. They cannot hurt me now.

I AM FREE from them at last.

 

[WillyKat]

Right on man!

I'm reminded of a song by Bruce Cockburn, "Lovers in a Dangerous Time"
with the lines: "You have to kick at the darkness, till in bleeds daylight."

 

[Deleted member 12723]

That was so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing this, you made my day.

 

[SwordsPandaGirl]

Thank you so much for sharing this. Im glad you're feeling free, we all deserve to reach that :) I love the message of hope, it gives me hope that hopefully, I too will be free :) Keep happy Laurie! you did it :D

 

[The Albatross]

Fan that spark/ember Santa Laurie and faithfully tend the flame. :tup: Cultivating the autonomy and self responsibility was big for me... it took me a while, but it is worth the effort. Somewhere someone said something like, "from the center all things flow"... so part of my maintenance is tending to my soul/spirit, my mental/emotional, and my physical body every day. From there, all things flow. The fact that any two out of three is still 66.3 percent helps as well. I stay grounded in the knowledge that one out of three needs improvement, two out of three is statistically okay, but three out of three is stellar.

When I am able to, in my daily self care have the habit and then the new behavior for all three... my base point mind set shifts and improves to the place where self reliance, self worth, and autonomy grow and are cultivated.

Love that ember into a flame dude.