General First Mental Health Appointment

[mrscaluza]

My husband has his first appointment at the PTSD clinic in six and a half hours and I can already tell his anxiety is through the roof. I'm nervous for him cause I hear therapy can be brutal (with recalling events) and I'm trying to help him relax. I don't want to tell him everything is going to be fine if hes going to have a horrible experience.

He's worried that they are going to think hes crazy and hospitalize him. When he was first diagnosed with PTSD he lied about a lot of things like feeling suicidal because of this. I'm really proud of him for saying that he wants help and for taking this step.

He told me he wants me there with him, will they let you do that? How do your suffers usually do afterward? Is there anyway I can prepare him before hand?

 

[amethist]

Hi mrscaluza

First if your husband wants you with him when he see's his therapist, then tell him to tell this to the therapist. This way you can also add bits if needed, as long as he knows you will be doing this before hand.

My husband did this right at the beginning, it helped him to be more open about how he felt, as I already knew, so could help out when he got stuck. OK so this is not the norm, but if it helps him to get going and have confidence to do this himself in the future then don't let them stop you. I still go in for the first few minutes, just to help my husband recap events since the previous appointment.

My husband also gets anxious in the hours before his appointment, but mainly now because of getting there and not the therapy its self.

Therapy can be brutal, but by recalling these events his therapist can help him deal with them in a way that he can process. It can take quite a few sessions before they start to calm down to a manageable level, but if he gives up, then it will only get worse the next time he decides he needs the help.

After wards he could be very emotional, angry or just plain exhausted from it all. It could take him a few days to recover, but the more he does this the easier it can get. He could even refuse to go to the next session. My husband has only 4 sessions left out of the 25 he was allocated, the difference from then until now is amazing. He too refused to go to some appointment, half an hour before we were due to set off some day's, but with gentle persuasion and understanding he usually went to the next.

the best thing you can do for him before hand, is to tell him it will be tough and it will probably upset him in the beginning, but he can take it all at his own pace, he can control how fast or slow it goes as long as he is honest with every session. Little bits at a time, but the most important thing to tell him is that he must be as honest as possible, or they will not be able to help him as much. Also tell him that you will always be there where possible, to support him through it all, every step of the way.

I hope he manages to go and you are able to support him through it. Let us know how you get on and take care of yourself too.

Amethist

 

[mrscaluza]

Well were home now. I am so proud of him. He got so anxious to the point where he was in bed crying. He kept saying he didn't want to go but he went. I think he went just because he didn't want to disappoint me. I told him that it was up to him, he needed to make the decision; But he went and he did great.

She let me stay with him, and it wasn't as bad as I expected. Made him bring up a lot of things he didn't want to talk about. He also got some news he really didn't like. Like possibility of being bi-polar or having ADHD. Just these lables scare the crap outta him. I tried to explain that even if he does it dosen't change anything. So anyway she is having him do a group therapy, which he is not happy about cause being in front of people is one of his triggers, but it makes sense. They also wont let me go with him to those. Which I know is better but the first couple of sessions are gonna be hard for him.

She also scheduled him an appointment with a psychiatrist (apparently she was a psychologist). My husband is very against medications but he's going to go to talk to them anyway. See what the Dr. has to say.

All in all I am soo proud of him. I hope he knows that.

 

[nie]

You husband is very lucky to have you for support!

 

[kers]

I'm glad the appointment set some balls rolling. It was good of you to keep pushing him to go and to be there with him, and he was brave to face it and go!

 

[amethist]

Great news mrcaluza, gentle persuasion and letting him know he is doing well, helps a lot.

Amethist

 

[mrscaluza]

Wow I am really surprised. I was fully prepared for my husband to have a bad couple of days after his appointment but his mood has been great! I mentioned it to him and he said that talking to the psychologist really helped lift some weight off him. That he had a little confidence boost. It was really adorable how proud of him self he was for talking to the dr.

I just wish he got the same feeling when he talked to me :/. Oh well I just want him to start feeling better and if this is what it takes I'm all for it.

 

[ISupportHer]

Really good news that there is some improvement. It is really a roller coaster though, as I'm sure you know.

Will he, and the TH, agree to a signed consent for your involvement and to allow the TH to talk with you on a more regular basis?

ISH

 

[mrscaluza]

Well she said its probably not a good idea because hes doing group therapy. Let me back up a little, my husband has combat PTSD so he is going through the VA. The group sessions will be with other veterans. The psychologist said that they wouldn't want me to become traumatized by listening to their experiences and they would probably feel more comfortable talking around other people who went through similar experiences.

He really hates talking to new people. I mean to the point where I will do simple things like pay at a restaurant, or ask for directions because he has a panic attack. I think making him talk to people would be kinda like exposure therapy (I have been watching "The OCD Project" lately lol). The Dr. thinks this will help him too. So for the first couple sessions I will probably drop him off and wait for him in the car, maybe grab some lunch or something. That way if he needs me I will at least be close.

I don't know maybe I'm being too protective.

 

[amethist]

Hi mrscaluza

Sounds like a good idea dropping him off, but being close by to take him back home again. As long as he understands he has to stay for the full session, this way you are being supportive but not over protective. We all do that at times, but it does not help it we keep doing it.

He will soon get used to meeting with people in the same position as himself, just don't let him give in.

Remember to take care of yourself too.

Amethist