Fixations On Home, House, Moving, All That?

[lostforgottensoul]

Wow, I never thought of this as an issue. I obsessively look at beautiful homes, beautiful decor, homes for sale, tiny houses, pentrest about decor, DIY's that I could never afford or do, and just endlessly obsess about it all.

My credit score is in the low 400s, I make not enough, I would never be able to own a home of my own. The closest I came was when I lives in Kansas, made twice as much and cost of living was twice as low and I could save. I worked a TON of overtime and saved 20 grand inside of 4 yrs. I was being promoted to management, given a large raise, and being transfered to Chattanooga, TN where I found a beauiful appox 2,500 sq ft 3 bed 2.5 bath house newly renovated and on t acres of land online and was buying sight unseen for $120,000 appox with the 20 grand down.

Right before closing I fell off a ladder 3 stories up and couldnt walk or work or anything so had to pull my offer out, and was on short term disabilty for a long while and 20 grand lost on medical bills and living expenses that the diabilty didn't cover, until my surgeon f*cked short term disabilty up and had to leave my job and my dad came up to get me to move me in with him here in Fl.

That was the closest i ever came to owning my own home. The obession gotten worse since.

I think it also adds to my maladaptive daydreaming *movies in my head* thing where I live with a husband and wonderful children where everyone is loved and have a good career and many friends and we are all just happy.

I think it has always countered the "house of hell".

 

[Werewoman]

My idea of a home is very different than most, I think. Like you, it has always been an issue. Over time, I have found positive ways to view the concept.
When people ask me where I am from, I always answer, "everywhere...and nowhere" because for me, it's the truth. At the moment I live in Oklahoma, and have for the last 6 years. Ask me tomorrow, and I may be on my way to our next adventure. My husband's work takes us all over the country. I wouldn't have it any other way.
A few years back, I returned to the hell-hole town I grew up in, and as the bus I rode to and from work each day passed one of the old apartments where I was abused, my fight or flight would kick in so badly. I was in a constant state of agitation, if not in a full blown panic attack for the 10 months I had to endure being there.
Home is what/where you make it, and I chose 24 years ago to make mine with my husband.