Flashback at doctors

[DiamondBug]

So this might sound a bit odd, but I can't stand people touching the crook of my arm. There's other places but this obviously gets touched the most. Even if I feel anything touch it my arms go up to protect it and it's a struggle sometimes to feel safe enough to put them back down.

I went to the doctors for something unrelated to my mental health, it was to get my prescription. It's normal to have my blood pressure checked, so I was prepared for it. I don't mind it normally at all but this time however she did it by pressing a stethoscope on the crook of my arm, I could see it coming and immediately said no please don't touch me there, but she carried on I while I kept reiterating it. She just held my arm down and did it anyway. I immediately became a mess. I couldn't unbend my arm at all for the whole time I was there. I couldn't look at her. I couldn't stop crying. I had really horrible intrusive thoughts, I could physically feel the injurys I had in those areas. I pretty much ran out to the car park, had a flashback and was sick. My therapist is on holiday now and I go on holiday next week, so I can't talk about it in therapy for a while. I know some people may read this and probably be like what a stupid issue, but this really effects my whole life. I just feel super embarrassed about the whole thing now. I need to go back on Friday for something again unrelated to my mental health, but now I'm even more scared than I normally am. I'm normally petrified of the doctors anyway. What happened almost confirmed my worst fears, that doctors don't listen when you say no. I'm scared if she did it again, I couldn't just look away, tense and beg her. I really don't like to admit this but I would lose control completely at her. I really honestly thought she'd stop and the fact she didn't really bothered me. Has anyone had anything similar happen? How did you cope with it? How do you regain that trust?

 

[Deadman]

I really honestly thought she'd stop and the fact she didn't really bothered me.

I would have expected her to stop as well. It was definitely a violation of trust. I wish I could say it was rare but many doctors begin to see patients as a collection of signs and symptoms and forget that there is a person behind the illness.

 

[Nathanael]

What happened is horrible and there's no need to feel ashamed, doctors have to stop with whatever they are doing when a patient says they want them to stop. You did nothing wrong, she did.
You have to decide for yourself if the trust can be rebuild or if it's too shattered, if you feel too betrayed to interact with her ever again or if there's a chance to make up with her.
Whatever you want to do, a honest conversation would be the best thing to do in both situation, talk to her openly and tell her how much she hurt you, that it's a completely no-go, etc.
Is there someone you can take with you? It's easier if you can feel save while having this conversation, it can be emotionally overwhelming to varying degrees depending on her reaction.

I know it's disappointing but a lot of doctors just don't care that some people have great problems with medical practices that they find normal and easy, they don't react to crying or other obvious signs of distress because it's no big deal in their eyes so it couldn't be one for others.
A doctor is someone you should be able to fully trust, if you are always afraid that they will overstep your boundaries then find a new one.

 

[Thisgirl]

I also have a trust issues with doctors, and my triggers sounds similar. Its authority bulldozing their way, and not listening.
I still struggle with this a lot, using my voice concisely and with force if needed.

I think you should find a new doctors office completely, it doesn't sound like trust is going to be regained and do you want to spend the time. Something that helped me a little is I found some doctors in my area with excellent customer service reviews/recommendations and from the start of the first appointment was upfront, I let her know that I didn't like being there and doctors frankly scare me. The wonderful thing with this is, a doctor who is not compassionate will dismiss or brush over what you told them, and the good ones will immediately become clear because they will (at least) try to make you feel comfortable. If you don't like the response, don't even waste your time on them. Good luck to you.

 

[anonymous]

I haven't experienced that per say, but when my S/O does certain things sexually I get major flashbacks of my trauma. I'm most concerned about protecting my mind, but sometimes I get triggered physically.

I'm not sure if you can regain trust, but I think it's important to distinguish getting triggered from being violated.

 

[anonymous]

I have had something similar happened. I had a long- term T- tube in my ear. It is not the tube that is typically used in children. The tube itself is longer, and is intended to stay in place for a longer period of time. The doctor that put it in said that I could swim as long as I had a customized ear plug made for the ear. He told me to give it some time to heal after it was placed, and the make an appointment with the technician to make an ear plug. He said I didn't need to see him when I came back for the plug.

Some time passed, perhaps a few months, before I went back. A specialist looked at the tube a week before and said it "wasn't going anywhere." When I went back, the technician looked in the ear before filling it with the casting gel. She said that she was worried that the tube was out, and would not make the plug until the doctor looked at it and okayed it. Of course, my doctor was not in that day ( the only day of the week he was at the other office). They called in his partner. The doctor said that the tube was no longer sitting in the ear drum, but rather just in the canal and that it "needed to come out." He got some forceps and tugged on it. To me, it was clearly still in the drum. I told him to stop. It was very painful. He said it had to come out or it would cause problems. He tried to tug it again and I turned my head. At this point, he instructed his nurse to hold me down. She looked at him kind of funny and he told her again to "stabilize my head" and instructed her how. At this point, she put me in a headlock, and they held me down with the chair laid back while he pulled the tube ( which vey very much still felt connected) out of my ear. I cried and told him to stop, but he didn't until he was done.

The tech, wide eyed, asked me if I was okay after he left. She then made the ear plug, but was very careful to explain everything because she knew I was obviously distraught. To top it off and add insult to injury, they charged me for the doctor visit.

When I told the specialist they pulled it out, he was not happy about it. He said it was sound.

So yeah, I know what you are saying. It sucks and I felt taken advantage of.