Flashback Narrative

[Powder]

Has anyone figured out how to cope with flashbacks by examining their narrative?

My worsts flashbacks involve being attacked by mom or dad. In either case, "he's killing me!" or "she's going to kill us!" is the narrative, aka the only thought in my head as my fear cascades.

The fear cascade feels like an explosion of heart pounding and shallow, fast breathing in my chest as my throat and guts spasms. My throat closes or I scream. My consciousness "narrows" as in cannot see or tunnel vision.
And I try to curl in to a ball or desperately grab for my sister to try to save her. Whatever the case may be in the memory that really happened at the time. Or I fight. In which case, I actually start fighting and yelling.

Does the narrative matter for learning to cope with these?

Thanks!

 

[shimmerz]

Does the narrative matter for learning to cope with these?

I think it does until it gets repetitive. Then, for me, it became pathological. Something that took me over.

Strange as it sounds, I used a Spirit Guide Animal (Panther) that I would practice with. When I was ineffective at being able to 'fight', the Panther would attack instead. I would practice this when I was not invested in a flashback or in crisis and then it just came naturally to me that when in trouble, my brain just 'went there'.

Originally when I used it, it was just a panther. It was my Shaman who explained to me, when it wasn't being very effective, that I could morph it's size and shape to anything I wanted it to be. What I found interesting is that it protected my back.....and could strike out from all directions if need be. It took about a month of applying this technique and flashbacks came and went.

Not for everyone, but it really helped me a ton. My Spirit Animal is a Panther, yours may be something different. Oddly enough, these days I keep seeing black cats. Everywhere. No other colour. It is possible this is reminding me that through my current 'issues', I should be calling up my Panther again.

 

[Meadowsweet]

Hi Muse, because I had dissociated during trauma, therapy helped me to find the narrative and I found that it was much easier to work with the narrative as it enabled me to come to terms with my responses.

Also, though I have a long way to go, I've found that I'm better able to link feelings to narrative and try to talk myself down and reassure the child me. This does help to lessen anxiety when it rises quickly.

 

[Powder]

Also, I should add that taking elemental magnesium seems to help ease the esophageal spasm that tends to precede the flashback prior to its surfacing, sometimes by a week. But I also wonder if the magnesium, a metal, tends to also be a conductor of the flashback 'energy,' thusly enabling the flashback to surface readily.

I only see a direct correlation between when I take the magnesium (600mg per day) for two days, and then I get the FB that my supporter and I can see that I'm holding back for over a week. It's like a FB laxative. My apologies for the metaphor.

But in all seriousness, I wonder if the magnesium would be studied as a way to purge stuck flashbacks. Mind you, it's best to have support at the ready for when it breaks. Moreover, the magnesium makes the flashback seem more real, be more detailed, and makes it the equivalent of HD and surround sound. This is why I wonder if it acts as a conductor, enables more of the FB material to come up, more fully formed, and less fragmented.

Warning, Don't take the magnesium unless you are ready to start really processing. That's just my experience. I'm sure other body-minds react a bit differently; I am very sensitive to meds and substances.

 

[Powder]

Thank you @Meadowsweet & @shimmerz Both of these responses ring 100% true for me.

Meadow's point that the narrative helps link the feelings and emotions, I understand that. And now that when Flashbacks occur with body feelings, narrative/thoughts from that moment, as well as emotions of fear, the link up seems more "Aligned" which helps me not feel "crazy" but rather that it "all makes sense" now.

Mind you, it's still just awful. However, for some reason, the anger passes more quickly now, the need for 'justice/revenge/fight' and the ability to feel pity/forgiveness type of responses in me comes more readily. This feels in my body like "letting go" of the need for revenge. Which is not for them (they don't deserve) but for self (I deserve). Yes, I still feel sickened the next day.

Thanks @shimmerz!! For me in the one flashback, I felt like Bear came to me at the time of the attack. I was trying to save my sister from drowning. I did because spirit of Bear (Linked to river, where Bear feeds and drinks-live-giving) is in river, and I grabbed a river rock and beat my mother's head with it. She stopped trying to kill my sister. Since then, Bear is part of my will to live and to fight injustice and to chose to live when I could have easily given up and ended the suffering then and there.

I have Owl and Raven also, but they are about wisdom and mobility.

 

[shimmerz]

Meadow's point that the narrative helps link the feelings and emotions, I understand that.

Hmmm, I just realized the connection with this with what has being going on with me lately (today even). Yes, you are both right. Now that I hear the phrase in my head (don't think this is a flashback per se for me right now), I can match the out of control feeling I am having with it. Then maybe I can apply more specific words for the emotions that are flooding me.

Thank you both so much. This is very helpful for me today.