Flat And Depressed

[Jimmy1]

This is just total bullshit at the moment. I feel so flat and depressed.
I have not changed my medications. I have not been doing anything different, its just one of those days where I am struggling to dig myself out of the hole I am in.

Yes I have Margaret, Yes I have a grandson and another grandchild on the way, but I suppose that's why it is what it is. Depression.
There does not have to be a reason for it.

I am more pissed that I can't find the right coping strategy.

Maybe I am just too hard on myself.

It just pisses me off........

 

[Ned]

Reaction. You just did that fair, everything went to plan, now it's come down.
Before I realised my problem, used to wonder what it was. First time I went on a training job back to a previous theatre of ops, huge challenge, everything that could f*ck up before I got there did, bloody awful sea crossing (Marine who was with me sea-sick, ha!).
Got there and did really well, buzzing. Got back home (another exciting sea crossing), and just felt like a twat.
Not fair really, should've been celebrating. You know what it was like when you've been through something rough and then you have to go around kicking everyone's arses to get them moving again? Maybe it's like that?

 

[Wagon]

Correct me if I'm wrong Jimmy, But you have been without the exercise lately me thinks. The mental effect of that is a big positive. For me.....Swimming for the first time in over a decade. Going to the gym for the first time in 15. Where the hell have I been? If I am wrong, just tell me to...... you know what.

Ned were those 1m or 2m seas.......... Just joking. Sea Colic is no fun from any perspective.

 

[Jimmy1]

Nah mate, I have been walking 2.5 km every morning. Tomorrow I start 1.5 km walk and 5 km ride. Then next week, walk, ride and swim. I am not allowed any impact shit for six months or more.

 

[Wagon]

Ahh Hahh. Man thats quick..... Forget how many weeks its been since surgery.

Then I'm stumped. Maybe go out and hunt some pineapple with a shotgun. I heard they're mean critters down your way, not like those pansy Hawaiian ones.

Enough blather from this desk....out into the sun. Only happens 3 months a year.

 

[Ted Moen]

Sometimes the intrusive thoughts and/or feelings come even though we are doing everything we are supposted to be doing. Be gentle with yourself. Let yourself recognize the thoughts and/or feelings without dwelling on them. Say yep, I know that feeling or yes, that thought is related to a real situation then give it some time to pass. Keep yourself safe while they are passing, then get back to current stuff when you can.

Don't try to stuff the intrusive thoughts and feelings, they'll only intensify. Don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault you have the intrusive thoughts and feelings.

 

[Wagon]

I don't know. It is a tough one. No simple solution. Depression for me is like a program loop. Like the simplest kind of program.

10. Start
20. Print "Depressed for no good reason"
30 Goto 10

For me solutions are a kick, a positive trigger, some sort of out of the ordinary shock...something that shuts the program down. Sometimes that takes way too long to happen. Only way to end the above is the escape button or the awesome....cntrl + alt + delete. Then the big challenge would be to re write that program, because it is the oldest and most god awefull program on earth. It has no point. Start adding some "if then" or " and or" statements and then you got something.

I have not found my advanced statements yet.

 

[Ned]

10. Start
20. Print "Depressed for no good reason"
30 Goto 10

Good analogy. And you are right about needing a serious jolt to the programme to jump out of it. With the wonderful benefit of hindsight I can see when it has happened. Sometimes stuff looms up that I dread, but at the 11th hour the autopilot takes over, things go wildly better than they should and I actually feel great.
Had I let the little persuader inside win, and just practiced avoidance, I'd have been right back in that loop with the addition of " a good reason".
Just wish I knew a one-size-fits-all jump instruction.

1m or 2m seas? I'm a pongo so haven't a scooby. I do know that although it was a fairly big vessel the head-on seas smashing into the bow upset it and made it wobble (sometimes almost stop), and all night long the seas kept switching direction as soon as you'd got used to one particular motion. Utter twat and didn't get a wink of sleep. Only consolation was seeing a Bootey looking rougher than me at breakfast!