For days when you’ve both had enough

[AliciaEff]

Some days I feel like I am doing a great job managing my life and symptoms. I feel like I can accomplish a lot of my goals while still leaving room to give myself breaks. On those days, if my partner is feeling down, taking care of him is not hard at all.

Some days I feel tired. I might feel useless or overwhelmed. I might feel like I can’t accomplish my goals fast enough or that I am neglecting my own needs. On those days, I can take care of my partner if he needs me to, but I can geel myself pushing my own issues aside.

Finally, some days I want to cry forever. I want to lie in bed and not say anything, but still have my partner know to come bring me hot chocolate and watch movies, or to come drag me out of bed and drive me to a park where we can sit on a bench in the sun. On those days, if my partner is also having a bad day, it feels lonely.

How do you deal with days where you need support your partner can’t provide/ your partner needs support that you can’t provide? What do those days look like for you? Have you had one recently?

This can be for best friends, siblings, parents, etc. and not just romantic partners. If there is one main person in your life that you rely on for support, what happens when they need you on days you need them the most?

Thanks in advance for sharing your stories!

 

[Changing4Best]

Hmmm... the person I rely upon the most is my T, so if she is off or unreachable, I can call the mobile crisis unit, or I can suffer alone.

I had a friend who is PTSD some time ago. I lost my temper on her one day when she broke a promise on me and I was upset about it. Bad mistake. She is no longer in my life now. In fact, I think she has gone into isolation pretty much. (I am a sufferer too). Isolation is something I try to avoid, but lately all I have felt like doing is sleeping, so who knows, but that I have reverted to it too!

 

[loui50]

I'm going through this right now. I've had PTSD since 2004. My husband has been my rock. He recently began having mental.health issues due to the stress of his job and family. We have an autistic 7 yo son and a 5 yo daughter. He became overwhelmed with it all and has started seeing a t. Honestly, we are both just surviving I think. I try to be supportive of him, I've tried to help, but he just wants to be left alone. Additionally the anniversary of my trauma is in 3 days, so I'm shook up pretty bad. I think lonely describes it!

 

[Anana]

It happens to me so often. It is like small death inside when i realise how much i tired and there is nobody who understands me fully. And that time I either want to break all relationshipbecause of frustration or just go to isolation. Yea,, I can contact my T but she also isn't always in in contact. But now I have learnt a bit to calm down myself like that it will pass sooner or later and I will proceed with my goals. But I'm fed up with it already. Still looking for more ways to stop that dreadful catstrophisation that completely switch off my rationality

 

[AliciaEff]

Anana, I know what you mean about wanting to end the relationship just to stop the feeling. Others have echoed my feelings of isolation. It's really hard to find someone who understands, and I have been trying to have more friends, but it's not like I can suddenly start telling a friend about my trauma and my diagnoses and expect support as if I was telling them about how I was annoyed about the long line in the coffee shop. It's like, if you don't have support from that one person, you don't have support, and you aren't always enough support for yourself. Then you have to deal with taking care of them while trying and failing to take care of yourself. I have often felt like breaking up would be easier, but I override those feelings by telling myself that I don't necessarily want easier, I want better, and I know that he helps me be better. If I were alone, I would miss him. I wouldn't have my best friend, my support. I wouldn't be able to hear his jokes or listen to him talk about his day. I might have more time to take care of myself, but I'd rather feel alone sometimes than be alone all the time.

 

[Gotta sort newemail]

Yeah I feel a lot to carry at the moment an expectation on me to just put up and shut up numb freezing hurt becoming re pressurised