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MVA For Those Of You Who Were In Car Accidents

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I'm an absolutely terrible passenger since I was in a fatal car crash about 5 years ago. I constantly check their speed and comment if I feel it's too fast. I comment on everything they do and it never goes down well. So many people refuse to have me in the car because of it.
I've tried reading, closing my eyes, pretty much everything but nothing helps. All I can think about is a way to get out. I catastrophize constantly, picturing the wreckage, hearing the crumpled mess and screams. My anxiety rockets and I'm often close to being physically sick. It's just not worth it anymore.
My issues don't just lie with being a passenger either. I cannot have anyone in the car with me whilst I'm driving. It's too stressful being responsible for their life. I'm so overly cautious, drive ridiculously slow and I can't concentrate if they start to talk to me.
I'm a confident and competent driver and most people would agree as long as I'm on my own.
 
I cannot stand being a passenger in a car. I was a passenger in the car the night of my ac...

Thought I was the only one dealing with this when spouse drives. Hubs and son constantly tease me about it (sometimes I am able to laugh along, other times it truly pisses me off because I can't help it). I am FINE when its me driving, but the anxiety goes through the roof when its hubs. He too has had many accidents, but none of the accidents were his fault (red light runner, illegal u-turners, drivers trying to turn into/beat on coming traffic, a construction truck driving onto the car). My anxiety has seemed to pop up and grow over past 1 year or so (noting no accidents in that time frame), to the point that I dread not driving sometimes, and feel like my spouse is torturing me where he may well just be driving with the flow/defensively. Not sure how to ratchet it down.
 
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A lot of the time I seem to be having hard times as passenger for when other people are driving. My hyper vigilance goes through the roof as i keep checking for cars behind me and on the sides. (I have an intense fear of being particularly rear ended or side swiped as I was rear ended last year and suffered major pain & injuries & hassles)
I developed a number of defense mechanisms when I drive- just small little things to help me mitigate my anxiety and panic levels- like honking very briefly when changing lanes or when I am kinda anxious and I see a big car getting too close to my rear, I honk at em to keep them away.
 
Part of being constrained to being a passenger is being at the mercy/good graces/common sense and driving skills of the driver. I had quite a time with both, driving and being a passenger as a result of a car accident but worked out and am able to do both, though I prefer driving. A car accident when I was 21 was where I became aware that "time slowed down and everything was in slow motion for me" when a car ignored a light and proceeded into an intersection... though in therapy I had PTSD before, long before apparently that.
 
I was in a car wreck 8 months ago and I just two months ago actually started driving. I only drive short distances from my home and do not drive on the highway yet. I have driven on the highway twice since the accident and both times were on Sunday early in the morning. In other words no traffic. I was making progress but I feel like my progress has been halted. I just right now can't see myself driving on the highway. It seems like such a huge thing. I hope to be able to update this post one day and say that I am driving on the highway.
 
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