For Those That Have Quit Drinking

[Awakening]

How did you do it?

I've quit before, because both times I was pregnant and/or breastfeeding. And I replaced it with food, which I don't want to do this time around.

I'm working with my therapist to work out the reasons why I do it, but I'm stumped on what to replace it with.

I have two young boys and it often starts quite innocent a couple of wines to unwind. It may stay at that level for weeks, but before long I'm drinking heavily again.

My main reasons for drinking are; reduce stress and anxiety, have some fun, suppress emotions, as a reward for getting through the day.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I have been sober for years. I do it one day at a time. I still get cravings to drink, but it was causing alot of problems for me and I had to stop. I did it for me. It is better to be sober. I tend to talk to much and have not inhibitions when I drink. I am much better off this way. I hope this helps. I did it by myself. I did not go to AA. I went to al anon for a year. But my life has calmed down now.

 

[Rumors]

Knowing why you do it is as important as knowing you shouldn't. Any chance you can try listening to your favorite song or chew a piece of gum until the urge goes away?

This, as you know, is the most important thing, you break that cycle so your kids see how much you value yourself and them to stop. They will see you picking them instead od alcohol.

It sounds like you have all the right thoughts and I can only hope you find something to replace that urge with. For me when I get anxious, I rub my kids head. It just grounds me long enough I can get past whatever bad feeling I was having! Good luck and I hope you are able to conquer that urge to want to drink. I hope the stress and anxiety become manageable without drinking and I hope you are able to work through your emotions instead of suoressing them!!

Best wishes!!! Keep the faith!!

 

[Britt.f7]

I started up drinking after my mom died last year. I was up to, at least, a bottle of wine a day. It took more and more wine to have any effect on me. I did admit this to my cardiologist. He told me that, though one glass of red wine might be good for the heart, anything more starts to become toxic. I didn't cut down right away, but I started to. I managed to stop for quite sometime. I do have a small glass or two from time to time. Probably equal the size of one glass that I use to drink(if I have two now). I do notice that it doesn't have the effect on me that it use to. I am not willing to drink the amount I would need to to do that.

Now, it is important to remember that alcohol is a depressor. This is probably the worse choice for any of us to take. It might relieve temporary pain, but it is not permanent. My hangovers weren't headaches or nausea. If I drank too much, the next day I was suicidal. The darkness would overwhelm me.

My boys are now teens. When they were growing up they rarely ever saw alcohol in the house. I think this last year was a bit of an adjustment to them. Their mother was falling apart and they were witnessing it. I never got sloshy drunk, except for the night before my mom's funeral. Before this, the only time they would see a bunch of people getting their drink on would be at gatherings with my father and siblings. I did not serve alcohol to adults at my kids parties. I grew up around that. I wasn't going to raise my boys around that. My guilt this last year has been immeasurable, but it didn't stop me. I realize what a hypocrite I was by drinking to feel numb.

I no longer drink to forget. It never worked to begin with. Maybe I'm fooling myself with the occasional glass. I guess I still feel guilty.

Knowing you have a problem is the first step to fixing it. For me, it helped to cut down a little at a time. I know that a glass or two isn't going to get me drunk, but I would like to not do it at all.

I wish you strength in this journey!

 

[Hashi]

I'm in the process of quitting and doing well. For me, it's about making not-drinking more attractive than drinking. I need positives, because thinking about the negative effects just makes me defiant - I hate being told what to do, even by myself. And I think that I deserve it and I'm treating myself etc.

I've had to work at finding activities for self-care and enjoyable distraction. At first it took quite a bit to convince myself, and some preparation to have things ready that I'll enjoy, but now the idea of things like watching a DVD with a cup of tea or curled up under a blanket does usually seem like a nicer thing to do.

I've had to make lists of alternative things to do and actually look at them when the urge/stress/empty time/difficult feelings/I-deserve-a-reward-moments hit. It will depend on what appeals to you, and obviously you'd want to avoid the food-related ones, but you might find some ideas online, for example here:

http://www.get.gg/distresstolerance.htm
(part way down, under Distraction Activities)

http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/bo...nline-lesson-5-distress-tolerance-self-soothe

You can find more if you google something like "DBT distraction activities" or "DBT self soothing".

Good luck!

 

[HëllaBubz]

When I was younger, I was a prolific drinker, and could drink most men under the table and still stay on my feet. Shot my immune system to pieces that way, and when I decided to get off the booze, I spent several months really shaky, irritable, sweats, nightmares and constantly found myself unconsciously grasping for a bottle whenever I was sitting in front of the T.V.

Now, you can hardly persuade me to drink it, having little enamel left on my teeth (teeth grinding) has made them super sensitive, nothing like a mega tooth ache to put you off the grog!

 

[The Albatross]

I did AA and then switched to Smart Recovery for relapse prevention. It was actually at Smart where I began to tackle my problems with trauma(s) and my fear based thinking.... and found out I had PTSD. Like a couple others suggested, I had to learn how to switch from maladaptive coping to more healthy and appropriate coping with stress/anxiety/extreme emotions.

My husbands drinking pattern was similar to yours. He would be fine with a couple drinks for a few weeks, then launch into heavy drinking. By going through the recovery materials, he quit too and is abstinate now too.

I can really relate Awakening to what you shared about drinking to reduce stress and anxiety, have some fun, suppress emotions, as a reward for getting through the day. That was my M.O. too.

 

[kodiak]

I've been sober for nine years I had to quit all my suicide attempts came when I was drunk I made the choice to keep living.

 

[The Albatross]

Kodiak, yeah me too. My blackest most depressive thinking was then too.

 

[Britt.f7]

Kodiak and Albatross, that was my hangover after drinking, though I wasn't great during the drinking either. I would have rather had the headache and throwing up then the blackness.