JulietteRising
Learning
Hi. I recently became friends again with someone who I knew months ago. I'll call her Susan for the sake of clarity. I decided to rekindle our friendship because my boyfriend at that time was manipulating me and isolating me from my friends. (I am no longer with him). So I on the off chance that I may have let a good friend go I chose to rekindle the friendship.
I am puzzled by her behavior and am not sure how to handle the situation. She is in AA and is recovering from drugs abuse so I'm trying to keep that in mind. She comes off as sweet and endearing to everyone but at times she is completely the opposite. Let me explain why I am so confused.
The day I rekindled this friendship she suddenly out of no where deletes all her friends (including me and my boyfriend - who also knows her from the same place months ago) and deletes her Discord server. When my boyfriend and I ask what happened, she responded with "f*ck you." Knowing she gets emotional easily, my boyfriend and I asked her a few times what was wrong. Nothing. Then about an hour or so later, we are friends again.
Now, today, as soon as she signs into Discord, she messages me saying, "I was being nice to this guy at work and he ended up getting his friends to beat me up after I left work... They took the tips I made and called me a whore and pushed me then kicked me while I was down." I immediately was concerned. She said she was crying and couldn't talk but she could text. I said ok. I asked her if she made a police report and received no answer. She sounded so upset and I was worried about her relapsing or hurting herself that I told her to contact her sponsor if she felt the need to hurt herself or turn to alcohol and/or drugs. She didn't respond to that either.
Later I am watching her stream a video game and everything seems ok. Then out of no where she says, "I want to bite you." I was taken aback by the sudden random comment and pretended I didn't hear her. She says it again. In a lighthearted manner, I ask her why would you want to bite me. She says, "I don't know. I just want to bite you." It sounded odd in delivery. I couldn't discern whether she meant it playfully or threateningly so I ask again why would she want to do that. She responds she doesn't know. So to make a boundary on what I will accept and not accept from such random statements, I respond, still sounding friendly but making a boundary, "Well, if you bite me, just know I bite back." She didn't say anything else. Then said she wanted to watch a movie online with me and someone else in chat.
I said I was down for that as long as it wasn't a tearjerker and sad because I had felt enough of that lately. She said sounding very disappointed that she was in the mood to watch something sad. I said they could watch the movie and I would play a game or something else. Then she starts asking me do I just not want to watch anything that is sad. I say yes, I'm just not into something sad like Terms of Endearment. She says all movies have a sad part but then end happy. Then she asks different questions about the level of sadness I can handle. I say if it has a happy ending, it's cool.
So we go to the website to watch a movie. She chose "Blood Diamond" and I cringe. Not what I had in mind for a sad movie that has a happy ending. I don't say anything because the other person would just think I am being mean if I say I don't feel up to watching this. She did this type of thing months ago. I thought because my boyfriend was manipulative that he was influencing the friendship.
Anyway, we are watching the movie now except I am tabbed out writing here in the forums trying to make sense of this. Is she truly wanting to be my friend? Or is she just looking for drama? If anyone can shed some light on how to handle this situation, I'd appreciate it. Everyone thinks she is so sweet and adorable. I think she is at times too. But I saw a different side to her months ago and no one believes me. My boyfriend wants to give her benefit of the doubt because we know my ex to be a liar and manipulator. I'm so confused on how to handle this situation. I don't want to lose anyone close to me (boyfriend or friends) because they have never encountered the dark side of Susan. I have a feeling I am going to be put into a situation where I look like the bad guy and she is the damsel in distress, and everyone thinks I am being cruel or something.
Not sure what is going on and how to handle it. Help!
I am puzzled by her behavior and am not sure how to handle the situation. She is in AA and is recovering from drugs abuse so I'm trying to keep that in mind. She comes off as sweet and endearing to everyone but at times she is completely the opposite. Let me explain why I am so confused.
The day I rekindled this friendship she suddenly out of no where deletes all her friends (including me and my boyfriend - who also knows her from the same place months ago) and deletes her Discord server. When my boyfriend and I ask what happened, she responded with "f*ck you." Knowing she gets emotional easily, my boyfriend and I asked her a few times what was wrong. Nothing. Then about an hour or so later, we are friends again.
Now, today, as soon as she signs into Discord, she messages me saying, "I was being nice to this guy at work and he ended up getting his friends to beat me up after I left work... They took the tips I made and called me a whore and pushed me then kicked me while I was down." I immediately was concerned. She said she was crying and couldn't talk but she could text. I said ok. I asked her if she made a police report and received no answer. She sounded so upset and I was worried about her relapsing or hurting herself that I told her to contact her sponsor if she felt the need to hurt herself or turn to alcohol and/or drugs. She didn't respond to that either.
Later I am watching her stream a video game and everything seems ok. Then out of no where she says, "I want to bite you." I was taken aback by the sudden random comment and pretended I didn't hear her. She says it again. In a lighthearted manner, I ask her why would you want to bite me. She says, "I don't know. I just want to bite you." It sounded odd in delivery. I couldn't discern whether she meant it playfully or threateningly so I ask again why would she want to do that. She responds she doesn't know. So to make a boundary on what I will accept and not accept from such random statements, I respond, still sounding friendly but making a boundary, "Well, if you bite me, just know I bite back." She didn't say anything else. Then said she wanted to watch a movie online with me and someone else in chat.
I said I was down for that as long as it wasn't a tearjerker and sad because I had felt enough of that lately. She said sounding very disappointed that she was in the mood to watch something sad. I said they could watch the movie and I would play a game or something else. Then she starts asking me do I just not want to watch anything that is sad. I say yes, I'm just not into something sad like Terms of Endearment. She says all movies have a sad part but then end happy. Then she asks different questions about the level of sadness I can handle. I say if it has a happy ending, it's cool.
So we go to the website to watch a movie. She chose "Blood Diamond" and I cringe. Not what I had in mind for a sad movie that has a happy ending. I don't say anything because the other person would just think I am being mean if I say I don't feel up to watching this. She did this type of thing months ago. I thought because my boyfriend was manipulative that he was influencing the friendship.
Anyway, we are watching the movie now except I am tabbed out writing here in the forums trying to make sense of this. Is she truly wanting to be my friend? Or is she just looking for drama? If anyone can shed some light on how to handle this situation, I'd appreciate it. Everyone thinks she is so sweet and adorable. I think she is at times too. But I saw a different side to her months ago and no one believes me. My boyfriend wants to give her benefit of the doubt because we know my ex to be a liar and manipulator. I'm so confused on how to handle this situation. I don't want to lose anyone close to me (boyfriend or friends) because they have never encountered the dark side of Susan. I have a feeling I am going to be put into a situation where I look like the bad guy and she is the damsel in distress, and everyone thinks I am being cruel or something.
Not sure what is going on and how to handle it. Help!