Found

[Nighthawk]

I got sent home from work Ibroke down in the office. I need some control.

NH

 

[KP the nut]

Enjoy your massage, it was good to talk. I'm pleased I was there.

Remember we can deal with this, you don't have to do it alone.

Love
KP

 

[Deleted member 6617]

NH...thinking of you. Hope you are taking care of yourself as best you can. Prayers and Hugs, PH

 

[Nighthawk]

I went to my T last night and let it rip. I think she was in shock. Ha I managed to get my T bedazzeled. Then I called the new trauma T who gave me some all important grounding skills the things you tend to forget when you are in a major panic mode. I still feel like a ticking time bomb just waiting to go off but hopefully I will manage to keep it together and get through the day.

NH

 

[anni]

Hi NH,

I don't know how I managed to miss this these last days- distracted.

Keep using those skills, give yourself your day- your peace back where you can. Kinda been there-gosh no shame asking for help. The shame belongs elsewhere, to others, not you.

Much peace to you-

Anni

 

[Deleted member 6617]

Proud of you for reaching out NH. I know those grounding skills tend to be forgotten when needed most, at least for me

, but please do try to remember to use them and keep yourself well. Great job at self care yesterday too! You have many strengths my friend! Keeping you in my prayers and sending hugs ((((NH)))).

 

[Nighthawk]

So far I am getting through the day, It feels like I have taken speed instead of anti anxiety pills. But I guess racing through work is a much better way to get through the day. I pray the bomb does not explode when I stop being a tornado at work. Talk about being ultra productive. I really hope my boss does not come to expect this extreme energy towards work on a regular basis

Just waiting for the bomb to explode .
NH

 

[Deleted member 6617]

Oh NH....we will hope the bomb does not explode. You are hanging in there and getting through. So proud of you! Keeping the thoughts and prayers coming your way! PH

 

[anni]

Hee! I heard that! I've had days where the only place to put all that adrenaline is somewhere OUT there. At least something positive is coming out of this awful jolt you had- I'm sure your boss is merely appreciative at the moment and not quite expecting superwoman to manifest every single day.

xo

 

[Nighthawk]

To put the icing on the cake my computer at home is officially dead. Grrrrrrrr I just can"t put more nonsense on my plate at the moment. Tomorrow I go to the trauma t and I truly hope he can help ease my anxiety just a bit. I ended up canceling my other t tonight I just don't think she can help me with this if she does not even understand it. On Monday I had to explain how a panic attack changes my reality and she just could not understand how when they are over there is a feeling of being ashamed and or pathetic.

NH

 

[KP the nut]

(((NH)))

I'll talk more tomorrow, still drained, even after lying on the bed turned into sleep 2 hours until H woke me.

Don't you dare feel ashamed or pathetic, - you are neither, deep down you know it - hold on to that thought.

Tomorrow morning it is aqua aerobics - if I can face it, it is a big step.

Hang in girlfriend,

Love
KP

 

[anni]

Funny the T doesn't get that, though. Maybe she's just trying to make you make sense of it and sort of pretending not to get? You know, so that you end up explaining it to her? It all goes back to that self worth thing, the shame, so you'd think the T would be on that. If not I can see where it would be exhausting.

Oh I hate computers. Even the 12 year can come and fix mine, but lucky for me I have several of these IT types around. If there's ever anything you feel can be explained via email, feel free to let me know- sometimes it's something simple and you could be walked through the remedy before you flush the whole thing down the toilet. :) Then you have a plumbing problem.