Freaky experience

[Still Standing]

While driving, today, I had a sudden experience of an alternate world. Instantly, I knew that I could choose to slip into it and sorta disappear from being me and in that, I would no longer have to deal with this world. Wha???? Along with that was deep sadness. It was overwhelming in it's aftermath...whatever "it" was. I am assuming this was some kind of dissociation? It was really freaky! It shook me up

 

[solar]

Could it just have been a mood swing? TBH what you've described sounds kind of like psychosis.

 

[pixel]

omg WHY didn't you escape this hell-hole? :O_o:

 

[shimmerz]

This, to me is more like a derealization state.

Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder - Psychiatric Disorders - Merck Manuals Professional Edition

 

[Still Standing]

Don't know what "TBH" means. Whatever happened was a heavy moment of something! I felt like I was seeing into a world where I literally could slip into it, out of myself. It's reality really shook me up knowing that I could have slipped away and not be "me. It was so real!!! My original post did not post my full paragraph. In it I had said that I was feeling very heavy in my heart...a deep sadness and though I was on my way to a destination that I have always been excited to go, this time I was filled with dread and wanted to turn around and go back home or just keep randomly driving, but I was already committed to the visit. Once here, I have nothing to say. I feel empty and guarded. I am trying to be "myself", being friendly and helpful but it feels like there is a ton of bricks dragging behind me. The information on the MERCK page, Shimmerz shared sounded reasonable. It mentioned a glass window. This is pretty much what I saw, as I was driving. It was directly off my left shoulder, traveling with me, for a few moments. It's world was just as detailed and colorful as the one I was traveling in. When I chose not to slip into it, it went away. But, I was left with a sudden heaviness and depression that I am still dealing with, 18 hour later. Do I mention it to my Therapist or do I wait to see if it happens again. I hate to have another label attached to me..

 

[shimmerz]

Trauma does all sorts of freaky stuff. Randomly. Especially when attempting to really delve into the nuts and bolts of it all. That stuff used to happen to me to, but now, really doesn't.

One of the things my shaman taught me that served me well was 'never go somewhere (in your head), if being urged or feeling the need to. If anyone is to move through experiences like that, make sure it isn't you.'

I had an experience with a young insiders that asked me to go down into a deep, black pit with her. I was so tempted. What I did instead was invite her to me and when she declined and insisted that I go to her (if I loved her), I gave her a teddy to keep her company and told her she was welcome to come to me anytime.

It almost seems to me like some of these fragments of mine don't KNOW how to come to me. I am going to assume your experience was a bit of fragmentation playing out. Are you currently doing any therapy re parts of yourself?

 

[Still Standing]

I don't know anything about "parts" therapy. I have been doing CBT and am switching to EMDR. My friend, who I was visiting with before breakfast this morning, told me she was terrified when she first saw me, as she greeted me at her door, yesterday. She said she could tell something was terribly wrong with me and was very worried about me. I was shocked because I thought I was doing very well at covering my inner turmoil. So, I shared with her my experience but she had no insight. I don't like this therapy head stuff.

 

[Reflections]

Good on you for not going to that place, whether it's dissociation or not. Being with that sadness and heaviness is tough, but if we run away from feeling bad we also run away from feelings good too. Has therapy given you coping skills to deal with the emotional stuff?

I recommend talking about it with therapist, so that you can go in the right direction and get whatever help best suits your situation.

 

[Still Standing]

Good on you for not going to that place, whether it's dissociation or not. Being with that sadness...

Thanks for your concern and encouragement. Yes, I am in counseling. I intend to tell him about this experience as soon as I reconnect with him next week. And I do have coping skills I am to use, except when this happened, I was driving the freeway and had no way of pulling off. Then once at my destination, I forgot about any skills because I was in the company of many people and have since been kept constantly busy until bedtime. I am anxious to figure out this experience meant and what the T thinks about it.