OliveJewel
MyPTSD Pro
I appreciate this thread. It is helpful to me because I am recovering from csa and relearning about sex.
Glad you are finding some clarity @maybeiamabear. I feel compelled to process a bit of my own, if you don’t mind, as @Freddyt brought up some interesting points about masturbation vs partner sex.
Hope I don’t come across as objectionable, rather trying to gain perspective by challenging my own understanding. I would like to have intimacy some day outside of the therapeutic relationship and friendships.
Glad you are finding some clarity @maybeiamabear. I feel compelled to process a bit of my own, if you don’t mind, as @Freddyt brought up some interesting points about masturbation vs partner sex.
It is helpful for me to remember that this goes both ways. My T reminds me that my ex made it all about him *but I couldn’t notice it at the time*. I still don’t understand whether it happens at the same time or sequentially.the drive to satisfy your partner
This is confusing for me to see you negate them. In recovering from csa I had to develop a relationship with myself. Which means I had to be intimate with myself—forgiving and accepting myself explicitly. I don’t yet know how to be intimate with other adults, but I think it has something to do with how I developed a sense of intimacy with myself. It’s not easy to accept myself as a sexual being. I had to give myself permission to take care of my needs unconditionally. So I don’t understand how the objective of partner sex is different from that of masturbation. But maybe I’m coming at this from a different angle.the objective the same.
Relationship with myself through the lens of transference is what is helping me. I don’t know how I will transition to intimate relationship with another adult. Interesting how sure you can be that it *will* happen for others. I agree that there is a sense of fate when it comes to looking at an attached relationship when in it. But it’s odd to me how recovery can change the perspective to where it seems I was never in a relationship at all, at least not one which sustained me.good.
To get to the point of intimacy you need a relationship
Hope I don’t come across as objectionable, rather trying to gain perspective by challenging my own understanding. I would like to have intimacy some day outside of the therapeutic relationship and friendships.