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Frozen?

  • Post starter Post starter Deleted member 40217
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Deleted member 40217

Does anyone know where paralysis comes from?

When I have an idea about how to improve my life and what to do, something stops me from doing it. All I know is my body tenses up and a layer of fear springs up around my skin and I stop in my tracks.

It makes me want to curl up and hide, and just watch TV constantly or read or do other things to zone out.

But then my life doesn't improve and my potential isn't realized.

Does anyone have any tips about how to work with that? And/or any info about what causes it/where it comes from?
 
It may be different for you, but for me, I feel paralyzed when I put too much pressure on myself. It's a signal to myself that I need to gently and gradually work up to whatever I planned to do with baby steps.

I even notice this with household chores. If the kitchen is a mess I get overwhelmed and tend to block it out. Recently, I've started a technique i made up that is almost like a mindfulness walk around the kitchen. I walk around, being in the present moment (instead of being in my head, projecting into the future how I will get this all done). I take a few moments to observe all of the dishes that need to be put away, the things that are out of place, the food in the fridge that needs to be cooked etc. I observe it in an emotionally detached way and say to myself, "The state of things right now are okay for this moment." Almost miraculously, this technique relieves the pressure I feel and then I feel inspired to do one chore. It feels good to do that chore because I WANT to do it instead of forcing myself. Then I want to do chore. I get so much more done this way instead of trying to muscle through the discomfort and it feels so much kinder to myself.

I think with emotional healing, it's the same way. I sometimes vacillate between just coasting by, not paying attention to my healing state and the opposite extreme of just obsessing about everything healing related and coming up with lots of plans and implementing them. There is a middle road that is the sweet spot. I think, just like the kitchen chores, mindfulness is the key. If you feel that state of paralysis, observe it mindfully. Acknowledge it with gentle curiosity and ask yourself, "What is this about? What is behind this feeling?" but don't necessarily feel pressured to fix it. Just keep noticing it with kindness toward yourself. Eventually, because you are committed and wanting to heal, you will feel inspired to take action. On the contrary, if you are constantly pushing, pushing, pushing yourself, it is too much to handle all at once and you can subconsciously go into that disassociated, frozen state. I think it's our subconscious way of finding balance. Paralysis means there's something you don't know how to handle - so give yourself some love and space to ease into whatever is overwhelming you.
 
You don't mention your age, but I am almost 64 & don't have that much interest in going out into life. So, whatever "potential" I may have is hidden from my minds eye at this point in time. I have learned to adjust my habits based on how I feel & what I know I can & cannot handle. For instance, I know I'm not functional for at least an hour after waking up, so every night, I fill up the electric water pot & water filter & then I fill my French press with yerba matte so I can just push a button & head off to the bathroom.

In other words, I have had to get organized if I want to not go ballistic on a daily basis. I still get frazzled at least one day a week, but it no longer sends me off to get drunk or smash things, as it once did. I live moment to moment & accept the fact that I'm a reclusive person who makes no apologies for the way I am. I don't like it when people knock on my door. It seems to send me into a state of disrepair. I am working on that by going out the back & sneaking up on the people in the front without having to actually open my front door to strangers. I always have a cellphone & a weapon.
 
You don't mention your age, but I am almost 64 & don't have that much interest in going out into life...
OMG! I love your attitude! You have mastered the art of not giving a (bleep).

I can relate to hating when people ring the doorbell unexpectedly. It took a while for me to eliminate that as a trigger. I would not have thought to go out the back door! That's genius!
 
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