Getting A Service Dog.

Sideways

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One better might be to write a letter to the owner/management team.
Knowing the type of club you're talking about? I think if you let the state management know about this experience, they'd be up for rolling out better info to their various clubs about ADs. Particularly since in those venues specifically, there's an even higher chance that the person with the AD is a returned vet.

The last time I took on an organisation via management over the way me and my AD had been treated by their staff, and asked for confirmation they were going to plan and implement better education to their staff (and that's all staff, from management to graveyard shift cleaners), I was happily surprised with the outcome.

I'm sorry you had this experience. Seems to be part and parcel of having an AD, but it doesn't make it any easier. I'm always on edge for at least a week after aggressive encounters with my dog.
 
One better might be to write a letter to the owner/management team.
^ I think I will send the management a letter. The experience was demeaning. It's the right thing to do to try to stop that happening again. It won't happen to me there again because I will not be back.
or better their training.
^They all need to review the law and know what they are doing and why.
I’m not saying lose one millisecond of pleasure in your own life by being mad at them.
^Tbh I have already and that's on me, literally wasted part of my life being mad at them. I felt angry when things went wrong in the foyer, then off my food, then afterwards sad and exhausted and it is replaying in my head like a bad ear worm. I either have to forget about it or do something about it. Ruminating on it isn't a good thing to do but I am excellent at it. I try to not be but I must be genetically disposed to rumination.

I hoped writing it out here would take the sting out of it but instead I felt like I was disclosing a moment of sordid behaviour I had done - like I know I didn't do anything but stand my ground, but it's the feeling it gave me. ugh.

At the same time I know I am simply just not important enough to warrant extra bad treatment like that and I know I didn't behave badly so I do wonder why it all went wrong like that. This is the peace-maker rising up in me and questioning my own actions first and for sure, somewhere in me, wanting to find fault with myself. This would be easier and more familiar.
 
I am so excited.. the onboarding process is rumbling along at typical government pace but also quite uneventfully too. I have received in principal agreement from both my doctors and my therapist to accept the position so today has been a big, big day for us both. Yay!

I have to go because my dog is staring at me trying to convince me that she needs her food now.
 
I am due to start work on Monday but will not be doing so. It seems the lockdowns in Victoria and NSW have slowed up everything everywhere.

So, just in case we have a domino effect and topple into a long lockdown I am being shipped a laptop for work purposes and have been told my new start date will be another week. I have spent the day filling in declarations and forms till I got a headache. I just finished uploading them all and had dinner.

K is such a good diversion. She made me take her for a walk and play games with her and we met a really beautiful dog who was quite nervous but her human asked so nicely if they could meet I had to say yes and I am glad I did. K put on her best face and they 'greeted' each other so timidly and nicely so both came away fast friends tails wagging happily.

So we're heading off to see family. A sibling misread a cows intentions and has had his leg broken. Apparently when the beast jumped the yards and landed on him that meant she didn't want to be with her friends anymore. There is more mustering still to do...
 
Just got home from family.

Sibling will have a very long rehab experience and possibly a few surgeries. My parent can barely hold their anxiety and despite their frail age are offering to do house-work for sibling who has a large family of adult children who can all cook and do domestic. That's fine, I don't mind parent offering except I have been travelling regularly to parent to do their house-work/cooking/shopping etc for the last three years since my other parent passed... because parent said they cannot do it. So huh??

So I spent almost a week there looking after parent and house and sorting out stuff and I am exhausted tbh.

I have three days till I start my job. I have been onboarded however the site where I can record my tax/salary etc will not accept me despite all my best efforts. Honestly it would be good to speak to someone who actually will answer their phone and assist me. ugh..

It seems some electronic equipment will be delivered tomorrow so I can work from home. But at the same time I have directions to attend the office on Monday. Hopefully someone will ring tomorrow and clear all of this up. I gather this is the first time they've had the issue of onboarding a new employee during a pandemic where half the organisation is locked down and the other half is free... and I have to oscillate between both.

K gets a big brush and then a scrub up tomorrow just in case we end up in the office. She's beginning to moult? Or moulting more than usual perhaps is a more accurate way to describe it. Needless to say she's being enjoying the rough and tumble lifestyle with her farm friends and is very doggy perfumed. Time to sweeten her up a bit I think.

I found a lamb shank that was in the boot of my car. I have no recollection of how it got there but omg it was rank. It was wrapped up in some plastic and stuffed into a old shopping bag. I definitely didn't put it there. I don't load groceries into my boot ever! Just as well it was in a plastic bag and no wonder K loved sitting right back there and dropping her head into that spot. I thought my car smelled awful.. sort of damp smell but now I totally id'd the rotting meat smell. It'd be true to say the atmosphere in my car was heavy ha!

I've left the windows down for a few hours to help get that smell out. yuk. It's still the depths of winter here and just as well... or it would have been way worse. But then again, I may have been more inclined to investigate that smell faster. I am so puzzled about the source of this shank... perhaps family decided to give K a treat and forgot to tell me?? Not likely but hey anything is possible. I'll ask next time I catch up with them... K will be so disappointed lol
 
I have commenced employment today. Last night I had many misgivings about this. I vomited a few times (stress related) and woke up with terrible legs cramps and nightmares for the remainder of the night. So much for getting a decent sleep. I guess I am not handling stress very well really even now.

Anyway, got to my workplace with K. She was a rock star. She stayed in her soft crate except when needed and taken outside for wizzes. Though her trying to chug down a discarded sandwich and me hooking it out of her mouth before she could swallow it, wasn't a highlight. Note: When a Beagle dives it's nose deep into a tuft of grass, be very suspicious. K made new friends today and generally broke the ice with everyone I needed to meet. So that was cool.

We got home and I fed her immediately and then we went for a short walk. My brain is buzzing with information and I am slightly headachy. So getting my stuff out for tomorrow and going to bed. Praying I sleep tonight.

If today was the worst day of this new chapter then it probably wasn't so bad. I was held up with IT issues for most of it and that was nothing to do with me but it was frustrating because it has eaten into my training time a lot.

I have had far, far worse jobs and days. Just got to learn a lot and quickly because the boss wants me working remotely asap.

I can still feel the adrenalin pumping through me even though I would say that overall, today was a success. Will this fear ever, ever leave?
 
Today was a minefield of further IT issues. And finally got clearances and access and links to almost all the programs I need late this afternoon. Promptly followed by a call from my manager asking me if I am 'right' to work from home as of tomorrow. I told her I am no where near 'proficient' and she told me I was 'a worrier'. Perhaps true but I am definitely not delusional about my capabilities to learn several new programs in 45 mins. And hum I think you might be a 'pusher'. No I didn't say that but yeah I thought it and that took me off into a spin about how dumb I am, how I should be sounding more confident and have said, 'hey yeah, no probs'. Wow.... my head is spinning.

I know she is freaking out about Covid but I cannot spin miracles out of mud. I need the time to learn. She then pronounced that I would need to request permission via her and command to come in tomorrow. So yeah I spent 10 minutes filling in forms, ironically online forms huh to obtain that permission rather than furthering my knowledge about what I need to know to work from home. But okay... I got the permission and so tomorrow is my 'last' day - but no pressure??

K met another bunch of people who stopped by to say hello. Again, she was super relaxed and serene and for the most part stayed in her soft crate and dreamed about chasing foxes. How do I know...? She was making little squeak sounds and her body would spasm every few seconds. So she was barking in her sleep and her feet trembled back and forwards as she dreamed her chases over hills. Some people in the office noticed it and were somewhat alarmed. But all good - no she is not having a seizure!
 
interesting meetings LOL
^Yes has done already.

Most of my IT issues are now resolved but hell I requested permission to attend the workplace for the next two days anyway. It's strange being in this non-lockdown but highly regulated environment where if you can work from home you must. It will be okay for me once I know what I am doing.

K had another great day. She has obviously decided she does not like doing whizzes along the walking track I take her and steadfastly refuses till about 4 pm every day. Don't know what she is thinking but anyhow I will keep offering her the opportunity every two hours or so. Just in case.

Today I took in a deer shin bone ($27 worth thank you very much!) and she nibbled on it like a princess of course. It can stay in her soft crate for when she gets bored. I cannot take in any of her other toys because most of them require her to toss them in the air and see if a treat will fall out and it's a noisy affair. So will be looking for quiet stuff. Any suggestions?

A email was circulated re K and when she can be interacted with etc by other staff. Everyone is so lovely and happy to have a dog onboard too. I have made her my photo profile on various programs ha! She is far better looking than me :)

Again exhausted and almost let my ptsd rule me this morning but after a couple hours I have come through that cloud.... I wish I was normal or similar.
 
I am so lucky though. My T came for a walk and met me outside my building and we walked down a track and discussed what a monumental mistake I have made by returning to the workforce now amongst other things. I was deep into a ptsd episode at the time so it could not have been better planned.

And my new shrink is happy to give me sessions over the phone with me sitting in my car outside of work or if I do work from home, over video link up during lunch hours. So I have it good in so many ways.

I have started practicing gratefulness in a meaningful way. I try to think of three things every day that I am grateful for. It helps to relocated me in my head and stop being so thinking into the future inclined.

So three things I am grateful for today: I have a beautiful dog that I adore and I think she is devoted to me. I have a home. I have food. :)
 
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