Getting over ruptures with therapist

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
Thought I would update here. Had a really good session with T.
Explained about the SI. Said it directly, rather than vaguely. She didn't hear it last week, but she said she heard it now and we had an open conversation about it. And how to stabilise me. And how to work together and what she needs to consider. So I feel much better.
Really felt our connection was back. On the same page.

So thank you for all your insights and suggestions.
I'll prob revisit this thread when the next rupture happens and I get all worked up again. But for now, i'll bank this feeling.
 

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
So, yeah, back on this thread...
Anyways, so I'm sulking. But also wonder how I can try and understand what T said.
Basically she wanted to know why I brought up SI again, and wondered if it was child part feeling the need to bring up big things to be connected with T. Or something like that.
Anyway, that caused the rupture. I felt/feel she was saying I'm attention seeking.
Also, I don't tell people things. So this idea I'm telling her big things to try and get her attention or something, is the opposite of how I am in other relationships. So I can't understand this.
I feel I was mentioning it because I wanted her help to navigate it if it comes up again during another break this week.
But: I remember reading something about this before (clients bringing things up for specific reasons).
Does anyone have some resources to point me too? I've tried googling but couldn't find anything. Maybe I'm not googling the right thing.
But I want to understand the theory behind what she was suggesting to see if it does fit. Because I can't understand it currently.
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
Suicidal ideation is very scary. Are you able to identify which part of you is having these thoughts...child/teenager/adult? Is there something in particular you think about pre si?
 

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
Suicidal ideation is very scary. Are you able to identify which part of you is having these thoughts...child/teenager/adult? Is there something in particular you think about pre si?
Thanks @Survivor3 . Not sure which part it is. Haven't really explored it with it. It's the part that wants to make everything go away. So child? Idk.
Also not sure if there is a trigger, as it's happened when totally overwhelmed but also when in that weird uneasy calm/low mood.
Idk.
 

scout86

MyPTSD Pro
But also wonder how I can try and understand what T said.
So, she kind of asked you a question. The answer to the question COULD be "no". Not saying it is, mind you. These people can be very good at their jobs but they still can guess wrong from time to time. Sounds like she's not accusing you of anything, just asking, She's not saying you're doing anything wrong. The thing about "attention seeking" is that usually it comes from someone who needs the attention for some reason. Maybe not the reason they're presenting, but there's a reason.
But: I remember reading something about this before (clients bringing things up for specific reasons).
Sometimes this is a way to try to start a conversation that is hard to start more directly. Not just "clients" do it, lots of people do it. A kid wanting a new bike might point out that their friend got a new bike for their birthday. It can be an indirect way of asking for something without really asking. (But it relies on a certain ability to mind read on the part of the hearer and that can be a problem.)

You seem to be doing the right thing. You're thinking about this and trying to sort it out. If you end up deciding she wasn't right with her guess about the part, you can tell her that. If she WAS right, she didn't ACCUSE you of anything. There's a reason some part of you felt insecure in a way that made some assurance of a connection seem important. That's worth looking at too. I've had it happen that my T said something and I responded by telling him he was wrong and it later turned out he knew better than I did what was going on. That's not a problem. (At least it shouldn't be.) If you're not ready to hear something today, you probably will be on some future day. No harm, no foul. Just be as honest as you can, with yourself and her, and accept that it's a process and you're not going to get anything all at once.
 

grief

Sponsor
some therapists have the unfortunate habit of being indirect or speaking in generalities when they wish to bring up a subject, i definitely concur with @scout86 that is a possibility. you may want to ask her directly, to speak directly to you and not in metaphors or examples.
 

grief

Sponsor
Thanks @scout86 and @grief


Yeah, I suppose she did! I did take it as accusing me....suppose there is something to think about why . Like you with your T, I think she knows things better than I do and is usually right. Which, whilst this is painful for me to consider, I do want to understand what it is she sees.
of course she may end up still spouting nonsense. but at least it will be blunt nonsense that does not leave you guessing and fretting so much.
 
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