Hi.
My girlfriend and I are on a hiatus. She is suffering from a flare up of PTSD, and has been distant and unable to give affection. She has felt immense guilt because of this because she feels like she's hurting me, the person she is in love with, and she is hurting knowing that she is hurting me. She feels as if she may never get over this flare up.
When it comes to our relationship, it's the best one either of us have been in. We have amazing chemistry, and we love one another.
Normally, when it comes to her, she has only been in relationships where she doesn't care about the person. It has made it easy for her to break up with them because she doesn't care, so it doesn't hurt her.
She took a risk when it comes to me, and has fallen in love with me. She has never felt this in a relationship before and has never been in this position. She is trying hard, and we are working on our relationship, because neither one of us wants to break up.
She has difficulty replying to messages because of guilt and fear. So I have given her space so she can not feel those things. We're going to have a meet up on Friday to talk about our relationship and to have some fun, because I feel like she needs positivity in her life.
I decided to tell her this:
Hey, I know what I want now.
I know I was to wait until Friday to talk to you, but I feel it's appropriate to say this now.
What I want most is your happiness. I support you getting better, and I support our hiatus and whether it leads to us continuing our relationship or not. I support any decisions you make, as long as they make you happy.
You are the most important person to me. When you are healthy, I support us continuing our relationship, but I also support you wanting to be single or wanting someone else. I want you to be happy, with or without me, and, most importantly, I want you to be happy with yourself.
Also. I know it would be hard for us to be friends, but at the end of our hiatus, whether it's in a few weeks or a few months, I plan to either be your boyfriend, but if we can't fix it, I want to try to be your friend and to be in your life. I am going to be there for you. I won't hold a grudge or resentment, if we break up. I only want to add happiness to your life and to be a person that loves and who is your friend not because of sexual desire or desire for a relationship. I only plan to be there because you are my best friend.
When it comes to me, I've had a great couple of days. I confronted my rapist and my therapy is going very well. I still have work to do, but I'm getting there. I will tell you more about confronting my rapist, on Friday. It was a life altering event and I'm proud of myself.
Also, part of my plan involves the periodical meet ups. I want to have fun on Friday and a lot of our meet ups. We'll still discuss our relationship and how we feel, but regardless of how that goes, I would like nothing more than to pet some baby kittens or feed ducks with you. Or pie. We can eat a pie and people watch. We'll figure it out.
Whatever decisions you make are the right decisions, as long as they result in you being happy.
I'll see you on Friday.
After I said this, she surprised me by having the strength to not only reply but to reply with affection.
She said: You're a very wonderful person.
Personally, I believe she and I can make it through this. I think it'll only make us stronger.
What are your thoughts?
My girlfriend and I are on a hiatus. She is suffering from a flare up of PTSD, and has been distant and unable to give affection. She has felt immense guilt because of this because she feels like she's hurting me, the person she is in love with, and she is hurting knowing that she is hurting me. She feels as if she may never get over this flare up.
When it comes to our relationship, it's the best one either of us have been in. We have amazing chemistry, and we love one another.
Normally, when it comes to her, she has only been in relationships where she doesn't care about the person. It has made it easy for her to break up with them because she doesn't care, so it doesn't hurt her.
She took a risk when it comes to me, and has fallen in love with me. She has never felt this in a relationship before and has never been in this position. She is trying hard, and we are working on our relationship, because neither one of us wants to break up.
She has difficulty replying to messages because of guilt and fear. So I have given her space so she can not feel those things. We're going to have a meet up on Friday to talk about our relationship and to have some fun, because I feel like she needs positivity in her life.
I decided to tell her this:
Hey, I know what I want now.
I know I was to wait until Friday to talk to you, but I feel it's appropriate to say this now.
What I want most is your happiness. I support you getting better, and I support our hiatus and whether it leads to us continuing our relationship or not. I support any decisions you make, as long as they make you happy.
You are the most important person to me. When you are healthy, I support us continuing our relationship, but I also support you wanting to be single or wanting someone else. I want you to be happy, with or without me, and, most importantly, I want you to be happy with yourself.
Also. I know it would be hard for us to be friends, but at the end of our hiatus, whether it's in a few weeks or a few months, I plan to either be your boyfriend, but if we can't fix it, I want to try to be your friend and to be in your life. I am going to be there for you. I won't hold a grudge or resentment, if we break up. I only want to add happiness to your life and to be a person that loves and who is your friend not because of sexual desire or desire for a relationship. I only plan to be there because you are my best friend.
When it comes to me, I've had a great couple of days. I confronted my rapist and my therapy is going very well. I still have work to do, but I'm getting there. I will tell you more about confronting my rapist, on Friday. It was a life altering event and I'm proud of myself.
Also, part of my plan involves the periodical meet ups. I want to have fun on Friday and a lot of our meet ups. We'll still discuss our relationship and how we feel, but regardless of how that goes, I would like nothing more than to pet some baby kittens or feed ducks with you. Or pie. We can eat a pie and people watch. We'll figure it out.
Whatever decisions you make are the right decisions, as long as they result in you being happy.
I'll see you on Friday.
After I said this, she surprised me by having the strength to not only reply but to reply with affection.
She said: You're a very wonderful person.
Personally, I believe she and I can make it through this. I think it'll only make us stronger.
What are your thoughts?
