Relationship Giving Up

[nursenurse]

Kahlan, I have been reading your posts on different threads. All I can say is, YOU MATTER!!! You have retrospect, you have insight, you are a wonderful, valuable, lovable soul. Just remember this, I am quoting from Jim Unger of "Herman" fame - "All the happiness in the world is between your two ears." And another one which I have quoted in various ways in the past few days because I found it to be helpful to me - "Do not give anyone the key to your happiness." You have your own key.

If he contacts you, keep your head high, wish him well, then say good bye. Climbing Mt. Everest is really not so bad. The high road will always give you peace. Even us nurses have our limits, and I found mine. And I keep climbing higher than Everest.

 

[kahlan]

You know, its only been a few days, but I'm surprisingly ok. No anxiety. No restless nights. None of the driving myself crazy that usually comes with our fights. Maybe I was just finally ready to let go. I'm sure Ill still miss him, and I know that he's the only person I've ever let get this close, but I'm ok.

 

[amethist]

Glad to hear your OK kahlan, just give yourself time to pick yourself up properly.

 

[kahlan]

After a couple days of relative calm, he messaged me. So hateful. Why did I even try.

 

[nursenurse]

I am so very sorry. I know for myself that sometimes I do the extra because I want to know in my heart that I did everything possible. Usually then I can turn and walk away from whatever the situation is with no regrets. Doesn't mean it won't hurt, but the will to try again is gone, and rightfully so.

I hope you have found a new place to stay. You have so much on your plate, but you and your son deserve peace and tranquility. You deserve a life partner who is uplifting, not soul sucking. Honestly, I believe his nastiness is not PTSD related per se, but is a trait that was buried deep down and brought to light because of it. It would have surfaced sooner or later in life. Run like the wind, you are so much better than what he has handed you.

 

[kahlan]

I'm staying with the friend I call my second mama and probably will be until after the holidays. Its good to have the extra distraction of a full house even though I really just want to lock myself in a room alone sometimes LOL. I'm bouncing back and forth between feeling like I.could have done more (even though I know that's not true) and feeling OK that this was a growing experience for me. Just gotta give it some time :)

 

[dimplesg520]

@kahlan, is there any way to block the avenues he is using to contact you? Maybe temporarily, but still. I've been reading your posts, including back ones, and it seems that just when you start to make some progress on your own and are picking yourself up and turning things around... he contacts you and blows it all to pieces. Perhaps it would be a good idea to block him on Facebook, your phone, etc. just for a little bit until you feel stronger? I know it's very hard and what you're dealing with is super difficult and you're struggling, and I certainly relate to all of that. But since you're not living with him right now, he has to find other ways to contact you -- ways that can be blocked fairly easily, at least until you have healed a little and can deal with his rude and vengeful comments with a different perspective and a stronger head and heart. Just a thought. :)