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Goal of The Day-Challenging Your PTSD

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I feel tired and sleepy today. I think under that I am feeling anxious. So my personal push outside of that today is to work on getting up and moving and emotionally self regulating.

I will do a small amount of cleaning in the house. I will travel an hour to see a friend. I am also having a friend over for dinner tonight. I hope to fit A Dip in the Ocean somewhere with all that.
 
When I got trigger tonight, I was able to ground successfully, and made some discoveries about myself at the same time. My goal of taking care of myself worked. I learned some things I didn't know before by doing this. And I wouldn't have done this in writing, if I hadn't shown another person how to do it. By typing it, rather than writing it, I could see it clearly. All of me could read it and see what we were saying.

I know that sounds crazy. But when you're a multi, you have lots of little inside who can't read hand written script. But when everyone inside can see clearly and read it out-loud, then even the littlest of the little can understand and comment. It really helped to write out the process. Because it was the littlest that was triggered by this particular thing. I couldn't believe how much it helped me to write out the particular grounding we needed. And it worked. we even got to process the results of the trigger and it took away some pain. Gosh, I wish I knew how to explain what I mean.

Anyway, lets say I accomplished my goal today.
 
Well, I got everything done but the grocery store was a disaster. I was getting apples and the entire top layer came down. That wouldn't been so bad but when I got up after picking the apples up, I wasn't watching where I was going exactly and ran into the restock guy who had a cart full of berries and at that point it felt like Monty Python goes grocery shopping with PTSD. Berries all over. :banghead: I was trying so hard too and was doing ok until...sigh. I know I should laugh, it is funny in retrospect but it also stings like hell. Go ahead and laugh you all....this dunce move is on me....lol
 
I don't want to come from that desparately emotionally needy and lost child like place. I missed out on that stuff from my family. No one can provide it for me. I have to do it for myself. I have to heal my self.

Thank you Ms Spock - I really needed to read this today. Didn't want to - but needed to.

In fact a recent study has shown that 1 in 8 Australias are estranged from a family member. So I am definitely not alone.

Relieved to read this stat - helps knowing that there are others out there like me.

Mostly my goal for today is to stay alive. I see my doc on Tuesday.
 
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