Goals, Dreams, Future With Ptsd

[Anrish]

I often have the feeling that I'm only living from day to day - just surviving the present. I know that it's important for people suffering from PTSD to be in the Here and Now, but there's one thing which disturbs me. I don't have any goals. I don't know where I want to go compared to many other people.

I hope that I will be able to describe what I like this to be about. I don't want to remain aimless but I tend to forget what I wish to achieve over my anxiety and mistrust towards people. I want to collect my dreams, imaginations or goals which I want to reach during my life. It's not about pressure, it's just to give a meaning to this empty life. I don't want to be dictated by my fears forever, so I will start this list.

My goals/dreams:

- travel through Scandinavia

- learn Norwegian, Russian, Hebrew, Dutch, Finnish, Swedish

- to improve my Japanese, English and French (all language stuff includes talking to people....that's the biggest obstacle)

- ride on a bike trail through Ireland or Scotland (or both)

- climb the Alpspitze

- take singing lessons (I love singing but I'm afraid of what might happen when it will go too deep - I didn't play the keyboard for weeks because of that fear...)

- to see my favourite band "Saltatio Mortis" on the medieval Christmas market

Every person who has some crazy dreams or goals is always welcome to share or to give advice.

 

[garden]

@Anrish, your post inspires me. It is so hard to look ahead with all that we've been through. I have been trying to dream about things again, I mean like what your list shows... Here is what I can come up with right now.

I want to learn Spanish and Fijian.

I want to visit the continent of Asia, not sure where specifically yet.

I want to study Kung Fu.

Thank you for sharing yours.

 

[holdenmonty]

That is a good point. I had dreams and goals but don't remember what they were, and I'm horrible at making goals/dreams so my goal/dream is to be a better husband and father.

 

[Changing4Best]

I want to go horse back riding.

 

[Anarchy]

Those "constrictions" of our social network, of our activities and of our ability to think of the future are hallmarks of traumatic stress.
Remarque in "all quiet..." and Solzhenitsyn in "A day in the life of" capture that defensive inability to think ahead, where the future is too terrible or to daunting to think of.

If you are starting to think of the future, and what you want to become, you are healing:hug:

 

[holdenmonty]

I just thought of a goal/dream. I don't know if it will ever completely happen but I would love to destroy the stigma of getting mental help and PTSD.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Nice starts to your bucket lists! I honestly thought that term was so lame when it became popular....uhm, maybe 10 years ago? Or maybe not quite that long ago. But, I do have a number of things on my list.... (I just started writing it all down recently.)

Visit the Florida Keys and travel the bridge (Just added this one recently. I'm not a touristy destination type person....the bridge fascinates me for some reason!)

Watch all of the AFI top movies. (Started this one years ago, just haven't been in a movie mood lately. I've watched a lot already.)

Listen to all of the Rolling Stone top 500 albums. (Just started on this one....so glad we have an AWESOME state library system so I can get many of them for free!)

Travel to Europe and visit many of the Art museums, see many of the classical works. (We get so few of them here in the States....comparatively.)

Travel across Canada via train in the glass dome car. (I have a fascination with traveling by train.)

Start my own business. (Well, the legal end of it all. Technically I'm already doing all of the other work [on and off], just not on an official basis.)

Go back to school and get yet another degree. (This will be my post PTSD career! Wahoo!)

MOVE! (I desire to live in a warmer climate, primarily for health reasons. My degree will travel well, so I shouldn't have issues finding work elsewhere.)

Visit Australia. (This one is for later as I still can't tolerate traveling all that well. Long flights are very hard for me.)

I just started this list literally this week. Yeah, I've had a few in the back of my mind for awhile now, but I somehow like the idea of writing it all down so I can keep these things toward the forefront of my mind.

 

[garden]

@holdenmonty that's an awesome and worthy goal that I wish we could all collectively get behind... It's so needed.

 

[WillyKat]

I know how you feel. Over the past couple of years, I've been going on wilderness treks alone (well I've been going alone for years) and fasting for one to three days. You can call it a vision quest if you like. There are professional organizations that offer vision quests. If you're interested, the oldest such organization is the School of Lost Borders operating near Death Valley, Calif. Google for Vision Quest or Vision Fast and you should get multiple hits.

In any case, on the three day fast a year and a half ago, I found my purpose. Some 15 years ago I got an idea to write a book on healing from child sexual abuse in the wilderness. And for 15 years I procrastinated. Where would I find time to write it, how would I get it published, etc. The first night out there, as it was getting darker, colder, and beginning to snow, I realized that it was time.

So, I've been writing that book for the past year and a half and am now a few months or so away from publishing.

 

[falling_wave]

I think this is so great. Goals and dreams keep us moving forward and getting better so it's an awesome thing to focus on. Here is mine:

Graduate from my Masters Degree
Get a License and Practice Marriage and Family Therapy
Become Fluent in Spanish for Work
Move to Chicago
Get Married
Have 2 Kids 4 Years Apart and be a Great Mom
Have a Strong Network of Friends
Travel to Tahiti, China, Ireland
Have a Full Day at Real Spa Getaway with Girl Friends
Become Flexible and Good at Pilates
Find a Social Hobby I Enjoy
Write a Book and get Published

 

[Anrish]

Wow, I'm so impressed and moved by all these reactions. And I wish for all of you that your dreams might come true.

@WillyKat and @falling_wave : Thank you so much! You reminded me of a childhood dream of mine...I used to forget or rather to procrastinate.

I also want to write a book and get it published. I already wrote a lot but I have to proofread it and prepare it in a way that the person will remain anonymous because it contains really personal memories.

 

[WillyKat]

Yes, I'm not publishing it under my real name. I'm also changing the names of everyone I know. I'm taking certain liberties with some facts too. For example, I may speak about two people as actually being one, or vice versa. I may change when things took place. I'm only changing insignificant facts, just to obfuscate identity. Such change won't change the meaning or the point I'm trying to make.

Also, self publishing is super simple these days. It's a little like it was 200 years ago; all you need is a printer and you can publish your own stuff.