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catjudo

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I applied for a couple of different part-time, work-at-home jobs recently. I came very close to getting the one that was my first choice and seemed to have the most flexibility but it fell through at the last minute. I had not heard anything about the other position that I applied for and had all but forgotten about it. A few days ago they contacted me for an interview. I had that interview yesterday and they offered me the job on the spot. They were initially looking for people who could start their next training session on July 25 but I have an upcoming trip that would conflict with that. They went ahead and gave me the job offer but said I could start with the August 22 training session. So I have almost two months before I actually begin.

I am nervous on so many levels. First, since I don't actually start for almost two months I keep telling myself that there is plenty of time for something to go wrong and that they'll rescind the offer before my start date. There is absolutely no reason to believe this will happen. I was at their main offices again today to fill out additional paperwork, do the drug screening, etc and everyone seemed very friendly, welcoming and excited. However, there's that little voice in my head that won't let me be comfortable that this is really happening...I just "know" it will get screwed up somehow and that I shouldn't let myself get too excited about it.

Then there is the whole issue of it having been quite a few years since I've worked. And the last time I attempted to work things fell apart within just a few months. So I'm worried that I won't be able to do this. There are some differences about this job compared to others I've done...mainly that it is only part-time and I will be able to do all of my work from home. But again, that messed up little voice in my head keeps making me doubt myself and whether or not I'll be able to succeed holding down a job again. But there's only one way to find out...I have to give it a try.

Wish me luck!!
 
congrats!!!!! I'm happy for you!!! but you need to give yourseld more credit and stop 'waiting for the other shoe to fall'. You can do this! One day at a time. the glass is half full and if you don't give it a shot, you'll never know what coulda happened or what mighta been. (((hugs))) I have faith, this will go well for you.
 
That sounds familiar- the whole waiting for the other shoe to drop thing. Hate that! The companies really don't do that drug test rigamorole until they know they really, really want you, although seems silly to say gosh, hope you feel more confident because they had you er-piddle in a cup.

Hard to convince the head it'll be ok, but hope it gets easier as the day gets closer. Congrats much!

Anni
 
Congratulations Catjudo... the way I see it, you've got a reasonable time to deal with the feelings before you start your new endeavor. A couple of months to make some conscious choices and practice managing. Maybe some challenges you can build up your confidence with that you can try?
 
Congratulations Catjudo, this sounds like a great opportunity for you. And what happened in the past is past. You've come a long way since. But like anni said ... when the head kicks in .... dahhhhhhh. Feel your soul, at least that will guide you wisely.
 
Thanks everyone.

Anni--you're right...as weird as this sounds, I do feel a bit more confidant because they had me pee in a cup.

I know it's my catastrophising PTSD brain that has me expecting the worst case scenario. And yes, Albatross, I think having almost two months will help me mentally prepare for this new challenge. I also think, though, that it gives me time to dwell and obsess on the negative possibilities. I'm determined to just relax and let things play out however they may.

Thanks again, everyone, for your well wishes!
 
Congratulations Catjudo! I felt like that too when I started my new job recently. I feel better now that I have started but I stll get discouraged at times. Try not to let it get to you. Easier said than done but you can do it!
 
Congratulations Catjudo, that is great news.

Try and remember that what happened in the past was then, this is now, a new start. You have learned from past experiences and as you said this situation is different.

We all seem to have that beast on our shoulders (I know I have), the one which always wants to put me down, but more and more I'm listening to the positive side of me, I can do this and I sending strength that you will do this as well.

You deserve this, look at the grounding 101 thread in flashbacks and (mind gone blank:rolleyes: poss disassiciation).

Be kind to yourself and enjoy
KP
 
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