Death Grandma’s death

[NightSky]

My grandma died this last week. I was so close to her for my entire life and loved her dearly. She was very healthy but came down with pneumonia and for a week declined. It still is shocking.
I have very few memories of my childhood between 0-10 and almost all of them I have involve her and her house. Especially the really good ones.
Since she died I’ve been having nightmares. Very disturbing ones that feel tied to csa in the way they make me feel, although not true memories or flashbacks.
Is this a thing? I feel like the wires in my brain are crossed.

 

[blackemerald1]

Hi @NightSky - I am very sorry for you loss. Your grandmother sounded like she was a very important and stabilising influence for you and particularly when you were a child? You must be having a really hard time right now.

Grief can take many forms and coping with loss is quite individual. For now I'd suggest not worrying too much about the nightmares unless they become persistent. Try to stick to your sleep routine as much as you can.

Sending a :hug:

 

[NightSky]

Thanks, @blackemerald1. She was very much a stabilizing influence when I was young.
Sorry for my bad grammar and missing the word “died” in my first sentence. ?
I’m trying to stick to my sleep routine but the nightmares have made my body not want to fall asleep. It’s so weird.

 

[Friday]

My deepest condolences on your loss.

I sometimes see grief as a wild wind that sweeps through throwing open some doors, banging others against the wall, and sending papers flying. The mess & mixups are perfectly normal. As are the sudden calms, and violent storms, and warm breezes. The wind blows as it chooses. Not as we wish it.

Sorry for my bad grammar and missing the word “died” in my first sentence. ?

I’ve edited that in for you.

 

[Abstract]

So sorry. Sending you much support.

Its funny how wires seem to be crossed. I think its sometimes an emotion or something else that triggers new connections. Maybe loss for you? Or an association with other stuff that happened at a particular time. I have had the experience of having new stuff come up after a loss. Guess there can be all sorts of reasons for that too,

 

[barefoot]

So sorry for your loss @NightSky
I have recently lost my mum so the pain and shock of having a loved one suddenly be gone is very front and centre for me too right now.

Re the nightmares etc: I have found all sorts of things are being triggered, especially as the shock gradually wears off a bit. It’s like my brain is suddenly making connections and stirring things up and old patterns that I thought we’re long gone are suddenly repeating again...I can’t even work any of this out at the moment, but it does seem to have opened up a can of worms.

Take care.