Relationship Grief, Loss, and the supporter- Coming to terms

[Brumbyinthesunshine]

Hi beautiful Community, please note-This is stated with complete respect and compassion to sufferers - not intended to offend in any way, at any level.

Any kind thoughts are welcome. Any insights. Share your feelings and pain - it will be treated with respect here.

Did anyone know that when training for first aid, part of the training states that in some instances the patient refuses treatment by a paramedic or first aider?

And their lies the dilemma - the help is there, but the help cannot help. It is the same with love. Same with care.

Often supporters suffer the same as their sufferers. Sometimes much MORE.

There are tears for the supporters. Loss. Grief.

Rejection is a powerful force. Sufferers who were often rejected in their past or in childhood trauma - then grow up an go onto rejecting supporters and carers (genuine, sincere and devoted ones) who love and want to BE THERE unconditionally.

And then, suddenly, it has a vague and distinct reminiscence to the lyrics:

"This is all about the circles we found , through the ups and downs ..."
"I want to be your magical mystery ,I want to be your final history........ "
"And round and round it goes .........."

 

[Friday]

Did anyone know that when training for first aid, part of the training states that in some instances the patient refuses treatment by a paramedic or first aider?

Yep. It’s one of the nice things about military/combat medic protocol… you can ignore whatever the f*ck anyone is saying. In the civvie world, you have to discontinue care, or never start it, if refused… in certain countries.

Rejection is a powerful force. Sufferers who were often rejected in their past or in childhood trauma - then grow up an go onto rejecting supporters and carers (genuine, sincere and devoted ones) who love and want to BE THERE unconditionally.

It depends on the boundaries one has, personally, IME.

You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped… is true. Most of the time. If you want to a) follow the laws in your country or b) protect any possibility of a relationship with that person in the future. Kidnap/unlawful imparionment, works. At least in the short term. Under certain conditions. With the right people, in play. . It’ll also cost you 20 years of your life, in most countries, if it doesn’t cost you your life, full stop.

And then, suddenly, it has a vague and distinct reminiscence to the lyrics:

"This is all about the circles we found , through the ups and downs ..."
"I want to be your magical mystery ,I want to be your final history........ "
"And round and round it goes .........."

Sounds like something centering, to you.

 

[Brumbyinthesunshine]

Yep. It’s one of the nice things about military/combat medic protocol… you can ignore whatever the f*ck anyone is saying. In the civvie world, you have to discontinue care, or never start it, if refused… in certain countries.


It depends on the boundaries one has, personally, IME.

You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped… is true. Most of the time. If you want to a) follow the laws in your country or b) protect any possibility of a relationship with that person in the future. Kidnap/unlawful imparionment, works. At least in the short term. Under certain conditions. With the right people, in play. . It’ll also cost you 20 years of your life, in most countries, if it doesn’t cost you your life, full stop.


Sounds like something centering, to you.

Totally hearing you.

In a depraved world on the brink of imploding ,it is nice to find bad- a-s warriors.

Your insights are appreciated.

Yep. It’s one of the nice things about military/combat medic protocol… you can ignore whatever the f*ck anyone is saying. In the civvie world, you have to discontinue care, or never start it, if refused… in certain countries.


It depends on the boundaries one has, personally, IME.

You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped… is true. Most of the time. If you want to a) follow the laws in your country or b) protect any possibility of a relationship with that person in the future. Kidnap/unlawful imparionment, works. At least in the short term. Under certain conditions. With the right people, in play. . It’ll also cost you 20 years of your life, in most countries, if it doesn’t cost you your life, full stop.


Sounds like something centering, to you.

Thank you for taking the time to respond Friday. Amazing insights.

As for the lyrics: my take-away from it goes like this -
The distancing Sufferer-" I wanna be your magical mystery"
The hurting Supporter -"I wanna be your final history"

It is an astounding and deep dialogue that speaks volumes.
I might be the only "crazy one" who somewhere on a February day ,decoded it just to make sense of becoming someone's history ,due to the pain of their(sufferer's) history and(supporter) never really becoming their (sufferers) final history(future).

I know,I know - you are either scratching your head or thinking I've inhaled some fumes :-) Welcome to MY-crazy.