Guilt over breaking ties with multiple people

[Upside Down Eagle]

Hey there,

My life has changed a lot over the last few years.
I´ve become more to the point and more willing to burn bridges if they need to be burned. I think I might be more of a pyromaniac in that regard than "normal" people (who don´t have trauma). If people disrespect me multiple times, they´re history.

Some people around me feel that I´m too black&white, but I don´t think so. No regrets here.
But. There is this social guilt, I feel kind of socially coerced to be nice to people I loathe or to reach out again instead of forgetting them. Even though personally, I don´t want to do any of those things.

It kind of makes sense from the point of a society where every broken relationship is "oh no", rather than "good for you!".
But I´m not really sure how to get rid of that feeling.

Gwaihir

 

[Rumors]

me too! I think I am just learning what it looks like to be a good friend and when there is an egregious and outrageous threat, I am done. It just happened last week with someone I have known my whole life and I thought we were friends but she did something so bad I can't be friends with her anymore...ever....I don't want to be around people who manipulate and use. Not in my wheelhouse... I feel ya. hang in there.

 

[Freida]

It took me a long time to learn there are two kinds of people in the world...those who make my life better and those who don't

does that make me selfish? Yep
but it also gives me time and energy to spend being a better friend to those I care for instead of wearing myself out trying to keep fake relationships going out of guilt or worry about what they think of me.

 

[ladee]

It has taken me a long time to get some people out of my life. What has helped me, if I did feel guilty, was understanding I was having a 'trauma response' to thinking I deserved better treatment by those around me.

Try to figure out, for you personally, what you feel guilty about, but be damned proud of not having people around you that care, respect and treat you what you are worth. This is a very healthy thing you are doing!!!

We've had enough people to do damage, it's a beautiful thing when we look up and say NO MORE.

 

[Mach123]

I'm seeing my inability with others as a trauma response more and more. I've had to learn to live without people and I wished I'd realized it long ago iTS a relief mostly. I wouldn't have done anything I did in life or I would have approached it all differently. Saying I'm not like other people is such a ridiculous understatement. The time you are supposed to be "developing" as a child, most of which involves learning how to interact with others, I missed. Or I was busy, doing what I later learned constitutes CSA. So where's that leave me? I have a very few close friends and as little contact with just about everyone else I can manage. No harm, no foul. Getting better means fixing that I suppose. I feel like I'm still seeing the full extent of it though. Loneliness is a thing but I have a guitar. : ). (I have a wonderful partner lol! Even though that is a trauma.thing too. : ). I hope you feel better.

 

[Klanala]

There are some things we recover from as trauma survivors that are accepted as " normal " in society and I can no no longer accept it. I have zero tolerance or close to it. Consider it a gift.