So, my family moved into a nice new house. The whole time I kept thinking, "We should get a pet cat "
I have owned a cat my whole life and am good with them. I think both my cats (my childhood cat and cat in my 20's) were instrumental in my managing PTSD even though I didn't really know I had it that whole time.
I had to give up my cat I had in my 20's after the birth of my daughter (6 years ago) because she began to attack my new born and son. She went to a friends home with older kids, but it broke my heart.
So now, 6 years later in a new home, I thought we could try with a kitten and now older children.
The kitten we got was 8 weeks old. She had been a stray at 4 weeks and nursed in foster care.
She had major behavior issues and was overwhelming, clawing and attacking everything.
I felt like I could manage her and give her the care she needed if I did not already have 2 children. In hind sight, she was too young for our family, she wasn't socialized very well and while I have had cats like that in that past, I can't manage that now. I realize all of this AFTER getting the pet.
We made the heart wrenching decision to return her to the shelter. She will likely be adopted as in my state, it is a very popular thing for people to adopt kittens. They all get adopted so fast.
I feel so gutted and hollowed out.
I have struggled with insomnia and it got really bad over this.
Every memory associated with cats I have owned in the past has been flooding in.
I feel like a shitty person and mom.
I am really trying to help my children process this also.
I want her to have the right home and feel she will find that and the shelter was a really nice one.
I just wish I could own a pet again and have it work out.
Has any one had to go through this?
How did it effect your PTSD?
