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Other Haemolacria UPDATE: migraine, poisoning

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I've decided that I need to keep a journal of all the weird health issues I've been having since I moved in with Dan. Actually, I probably should've started this a long time ago, but I really didn't think it could be him. I thought I was being paranoid. So, I'm going to use this thread for that. He's not likely to look here, and if anything happens to me, he can't destroy statements that I post online like he could if I just wrote something down on paper.

The night before last, there was blood in my urine. When I informed Dan of this, he suggested that what I needed was some soy milk rather than a trip to the ER.

I am concerned that the migraine I posted about earlier in this thread was actually a brain bleed. Dan did not take me to the ER for that either, even though my symptoms were severe enough to indicate the possibility of stroke. The symptoms also lasted far longer than a normal migraine aura, which is a serious cause for concern. He should have taken me to the doctor. He did not. The reason I figured it was a migraine was because strong coffee seemed to alleviate some of the symptoms, and coffee is what I use to help my migraines.

Several days ago, Dan offered me a portion of a pork chop, half a bowl of mashed potatoes, and some gravy left over from the dinner he had prepared for himself. This was very unusual as Dan typically refuses to share a meal with me. His food must always be separate. I wasn't going to turn down a change from the usual diet he has been providing, a ration of one can of chili per day, so I ate it. Afterwards, I felt very sick and lightheaded, so much so that I laid down to sleep very early.

Speaking of chili, this ration is insufficient to provide all of my necessary nutrition, and I have been showing signs of scurvy as well. My hair stays very dry and doesn't produce much oil, even when I haven't been able to bathe for awhile, and my gums have been incredibly swollen and they bleed. My nails also display signs of nutrient deficiency, being brittle and discolored, and I have lost much of my ability to taste salt, which I believe is a sign of zinc deficiency.

One last thing. I've been trying to figure out how he could be administering something to me without my knowledge, if indeed this is poisoning and not some bizarre health problem. I have a few hypotheses, but I was wondering if anyone knows if it's possible to deliver an anticoagulant transdermally?
 
If this is true, you should really keep on at DV places/911/whatever

But I'm also curious how this thread (without you interacting with members, so it's not a trust thing) has jumped from "I'm crying blood, is that cos my tear ducts are dry?" to "this is his brother the killer", to "anticoagulants transdermally". That's a big jump. And a bunch of medical knowledge apparently learnt quite suddenly.

You also seem quite calm. I might be cynical and if so I apologise and my first sentence still stands. Just something is off here.
 
I think if you're in the mind you are being hurt so clearly, might be a good chance to seize the opportunity and get out, no?

I mean that's what I do when I can't think and then can. Get out when I can.

Unless you have other reasons to not go to the ER that have nothing to do with what you told us is going on.
 
See, this is why I can't talk to people. Why is it not okay to start putting together pieces of what's been going on and decide that my initial assessment of the situation may have been wrong? And my medical knowledge did not come about suddenly. I used to be a f*cking biologist before someone decided to f*ck up my life. Nor am I calm. This is called being numb and inured to the situation, not to mention the fact that what I just posted was intended to be a simple record of events, not me pouring a bunch of emotional bullshit out. And why am I being criticized for not interacting the way you want? This is my thread, and I will interact in the way that works for me. You did read the part of this thread where it points out that I'm not NT, right? My brain is wired differently than yours. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it. And if you want to know why I don't go to the effing ER by myself, it's because I'm afraid of how I'll be treated. I don't know how to talk to people, and if I try, they'll just think I'm a freak, as clearly evidenced by this conversation.
 
I am done talking. It only makes me feel even more lonely and awful. Please leave me alone and just let me keep my record here. That's all that this is for now.
 
And if you want to know why I don't go to the effing ER by myself, it's because I'm afraid of how I'll be treated. I don't know how to talk to people, and if I try, they'll just think I'm a freak, as clearly evidenced by this conversation.
I don't think you're a freak - but I definitely think that you're concerned about some life threatening health conditions. And on that basis? It's time to go to the ER. Don't need anyone's approval (not even mine) - you just go, and explain the situation as best you can
 
I don't think I was being judgmental of you not being NT, Angrboda... in any of my posts to you. Nor is the assumption I'm a judgey NT correct. On any round.

People voicing concerns about the way you present, is not an attack.

It's what caring people do.
When someone they *care for*' behavior changes drastically.
 
Please leave me alone and just let me keep my record here. That's all that this is for now.
Putting on my Staff-Hat for a moment....

Threads on the open forum are invitations to comment. That’s their purpose.

If you would like some interaction with members, but want more control over the thread? I would suggest starting a Dead Link Removed.

If you want no comments by members, I would suggest starting Dead Link Removed

If you (or anyone else) has any questions or comments about this post, please do not respond in thread, but use Contact Us to get in touch with Staff directly.

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- Friday MyPTSD Mod
 
I read this thread with mixed feelings. I know if I had been approached this way in the past I would have been defensive. I also note that while I do not suffer fear of poisoning My father who I think it’s established was a childhood abuser - if not severe- and dealing with that is difficult. I find it hard to accept I have ended up in this situation. I have empathy for those In a more grievous situation as well as frustration.

Angroboda- I hope you can use this productively.

I agree it’s difficult when you assume your peers here are NT, or have not faced similar challenges.

You are a biologist- so you are capable of rational and intellectual thought. Can you utilise these skills to list what it is that is preventing you leaving ? If you can list the obstacles then you can find solutions?

Whether or not this situation is as it appears on the surface would it be fair to say it’s not happy? Fulfilling? Good for anyone involved? So regardless of proof is it just best to plan a way out?


Do you currently have support from any dr or therapist? Does your partner prevent this? I think this should be a priority.
 
If this is true, you should really keep on at DV places/911/whatever

But I'm also curious how this thread (without you interacting with members, so it's not a trust thing) has jumped from "I'm crying blood, is that cos my tear ducts are dry?" to "this is his brother the killer", to "anticoagulants transdermally". That's a big jump. And a bunch of medical knowledge apparently learnt quite suddenly.

You also seem quite calm. I might be cynical and if so I apologise and my first sentence still stands. Just something is off here.
I've decided that I need to keep a journal of all the weird health issues I've been having since I moved in with Dan. Actually, I probably should've started this a long time ago, but I really didn't think it could be him. I thought I was being paranoid. So, I'm going to use this thread for that. He's not likely to look here, and if anything happens to me, he can't destroy statements that I post online like he could if I just wrote something down on paper.
You want to make this forum a journal half way through the thread and at the same time you say if anything happens to you, this page can't be destroyed by Dan online.

I think you're right by saying you want to be alone because the above paragraph is not suppose to be reacted too. People will just have to accept that this information you write is suppose to found if anything happens to you. Okay.. Journal away!
 
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