Hair Trigger

[Springer80]

I get your first sentence but could you explain the rest? Are you able to fight back now and it stops you feeling belittled like you used to?

 

[skeenr]

It doesn't stop me from feeling belittled. But it makes me want to fight back even when I am getting virtually no resistance in the first place.

 

[Springer80]

So is it like in desperation you just bring out the big guns, for lack of any other response?

 

[skeenr]

Basically. And desperation is an easy feeling to sink into.

 

[Springer80]

Well in my unqualified opinion, I reckon that you need to talk about being a kid and being torn down and what it made you feel like, with someone.

 

[skeenr]

Well that's just it. In my current position I have no medical insurance, am in college, and have a minimum wage job that only gives me 16 hours a week. On top of all that I am in one of the state's that refused to expand medicare to include college students. So I can't afford any help that's not free and even then any medication I would be put on isn't free so I wouldn't be able to get that. I got lucky enough that my college had people in their free counseling center that were qualified to diagnose me. Beyond that I can't do much they aren't set up for heavy counseling.

 

[Springer80]

I get that, same thing happend to me at uni. What about on here?

 

[skeenr]

Well, I mean I am trying to talk on here as things come up. It is just hard to collect my thoughts coherently so that I say what I need to.

 

[Springer80]

Thats okay, be easy on yourself, it'll come to you. Someone famous said once, 'Start at the start..' :)

 

[skeenr]

I feel extremely pressured Into healing. Between my lack of motivation for school and the strain this is putting on my relationship, my life it falling apart around me and I can't keep up.

 

[Springer80]

Youll do it when your ready or rather it will do it to you! Dont mean to come across as pressuring. :)

 

[skeenr]

I didn't mean you were being pressuring. It is just hard to function at school home and work like nothing is wrong when I have to try to be happy and join in on activities and stuff. I am so easily dissuaded from activities when other people are having fun. Forgive my typos I am on a smart phone.