Half The Man I Used To Be.

[andy3438211]

Just found this site and reading thru there is a ton I can relate to. I had a testicular torsion while depolyed and they sent me to a local Kuwaiti doctor to fix it. Long story short he put the testical in with a twist and stiched it in so it slowly died inside of me while the military doctors told me it was normal to have pain after the surgery. Took a while to get back to the states and it was taken out but the nerve damage was done. The horrible first surgery with no pain meds for the 3 hour ride back to base keeps popping up in my head. I have fought it for a while with little to no help and now things are getting worse the sleep has diminished to a few hours a night. Depression is so bad since everything is strained. They started the med board and I gave them 15 years of my life to get tossed aside like a bad fish. Hope to find some ideas to get to a better place in my head.

 

[Zipperhead]

Evening Andy. I've read that storey twice now. Who did you serve with, what trade, etc, etc. Hard to connect if you don't know who you're talking to.

 

[andy3438211]

Sorry zipperhead, Army blackhawk pilot. Was doing the Medevac mission out of Kuwait gunship with a hawk following the Navy med birds for the Iraq runs. Had my share of sand storms in that crap hole. First night out for a mission cross the lights at the end of the runway and the blowing sand everything just goes green and your on instruments only. Not the most fun thing but at least it was a meaningful mission. Ended up doing VIP runs most of the time and talk about a waste. They get a few stars and think they are rock stars. I miss the flying it really is something to control the power in the hawk.

 

[Jimmy1]

Hey Andy, don't hate the Army mate. It's a production line for them. If you don't meet the physical or psychological standards they give you the boot and leave you in the capable hands of the VA, and we know how efficient they.
I know it's the case over here. I gave my Army 20 years (The Aussie Army) and they did not know how to take me or deal with me, poor training on their part.
Remember the good times so you can go to remembrance services and grieve. I hated my Army and regret it now. It wasn't them. It may have been the medical staff, but it wasn't my unit, they were just following the bouncing ball called procedure.

Sorry for waffling. Welcome to the forum mate, you had a job I couldn't do. Seeing all those bits and pieces.

 

[andy3438211]

Jimmy good way to look at things. It is hard to see it that way. I know they just told me if I do not get in a WTU they are going to push me out. Got to love it if you can do something for them they are all about taking care of you. When I volunteered for the last depolyment hey sent the fixed wing guys down to pick me up and take me to the mob site. When I returned hurt there was nothing waiting for me I had to set up everything on my own. They do use you up and throw you to the side for sure. I guess all those years of drinking the koolaid and thinking they would take care of me are still messing with my head.

 

[Zipperhead]

My Unit looked after me best they could. Problem is that they can't afford to spend the resorces accomidating me. They have their mission, and the Mission Comes First. Always has. And that's the way it has to be, or more guys are going to get killed.

Problem is that the Base Hospitals mission is to take care of us. Just like the rest of our army they are under manned and over worked. Result is that allot of guys fall through the cracks. I got lucky and got help before it was to late. But the free fall as I whistled through those cracks caused allot of anger and resentment. My anger was always focused on the Medical types though. To me, the Regiment always had my back. At least the NCOs did. The guys I served with remain the people I will always trust at my 6.

 

[reddevil1111]

Welcome. It takes a lot of balls to talk about your balls. So I guess the one swelled up and took over for the fallen mate eh? Seriously, I hope things get better. I took some metal about 20 years ago and it still comes out of me sometimes. One sliver at a time. This is a good place to hang out and gain info,make friends and even tell bad jokes. I value this site more than my medications, my shitty therapist... I hold it in high value. Dont hate the military... and keep the friendships you made in the Army. In the end those friendships are really all that I feel were worthy that I gained when I served. Anyway, welcome to a safe place to talk out the issues you have...we all have.

 

[abnvet]

Welcome to the site Andy!