Happy Time To Be Turning Out Not To Be

[munkinmama]

I am on the verge of tears. A happy event is turning out not to be so happy and it has not happened yet. On Sunday my niece, nephew and their adoptive family are coming in from out of town. I have not seen them in 5 years.My niece and nephew want to see my kids. Huge problem my abusive ex who the kids live with. He is asking me for more details but my family is getting mad at me saying I am making this more complicated then it is. I am being triggered so bad and so stressed out. None of my family seems to get how hard this is.They are saying I am making this more complicated then it needs to or be a f*cking adult. Oh and to top it off the lack of details are also is also a big trigger. In my families mind they do not want to set any timelines so they can relax where I need structure.I so want to hide from everyone right now.

 

[Mystery]

I feel for you munkinmama, is there any way that your people can talk to his people type of thing and you can step out of the negotiations altogether for your own good.

 

[munkinmama]

My mom just called and she talked to him . OMFG he was not the douchbag he normally is he did not give her the same BS he did for me. YAY it has been sorted. I reminded my mom I need structure the "relaxed" timeline actually is a huge trigger for me. She was more understanding today.

 

[Mystery]

Excellent, you explained what you needed and your Mum got it. I hope you take some credit for that too because you should. Alot of my pts has been caused by abusive men, I get it darl I really do, especially where children are involved, multiply that by a factor of alot. I hope your planned family day goes well for you, your family and your kids. Hugs ((()))

 

[munkinmama]

Thank you . :)

 

[munkinmama]

What I emailed my mom and brother.

Friendly reminder

I am asking anyone who would like myself or the kids to do things with you to give me details. If the date is in the future that is fine but I need to know date, time, location. I might have plans so if you do not give me these details that is totally unfair to me.What many do not see is the process it takes for me to leave the house. Most times it will take me at least a couple hours to be ok with the idea of me leaving the house. I NEED structure if you want to really set off my anxiety do not tell me anything. I will not have fun because i am freaking out so please be considerate. You may think having a relaxed timeline is a good thing for me it is not it is a huge trigger for my anxiety Also if you are not sure of a time please call me about an hour before you leave again to give me time to be ok with things.

Thank You.





(adding to message)

*I hate being this way I really do but if you want me to be there this is what needs to be done. Not knowing triggers me feeling out of control and it take me over a day to recover. *