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Happy To Have Cptsd.

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Girl3

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Sexually abused and emotionally neglected from age 3 to 10, molested by a teacher age 11, gang raped age 14 with permanent physical damage, followed by years of abusive relationships because of my trusting men who said they would take care of me. One of my internals managed to succeed academically and has been very successful - except for periodic attempts at suicide or bizarre self-destructive behaviors like having affairs with men I shouldn't be attracted to. I've been treated for major depression, bipolar, borderline - then a year ago I got a new psychiatrist and a new diagnosis: CPTSD with dissociative identity disorder. Sorry this is so long. I'll be 51 soon, but I am emotionally the 6 year old girl - talking about what happened to me is hard, so I decided to put it ALL down at once or I would never say anything.
 
Welcome to the forum Girl3. I'm happy that you have found a specialist who finally found the right diagnosis. This will give you a great chance to have some sort of grip on your life. You did great for the introduction, it is often the most hardest thing to do when we come here for the first time. Take your time, it is not always easy and you will find that members here give great support to one another. This so helps with the in between therapy sessions.
 
I too was a relieved when the concept of "complex" PTSD was presented to me. It has helped to re-frame my past. Digging it up is like ripping scabs off wounds for me, however when I think of how the shame and emotional disturbance has reaked havoc in my adult life--that is when the diagnosis of PTSD fit me so true- it hit me between the eyes and I could begin to heal on a different journey. I don't post much, but I do appreciate your sharing and it just struck me. Peace
 
Welcome, Girl3! I have PTSD but I suspect I have a dash of complex in there as well. I appreciate your strength and courage in being so open in your introduction. This is a wonderfully supportive place with lots of info and lots of people who'll understand better than you might think.
 
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