When someone thinks they have cptsd from being spanked as a child…

[Justmehere]

A date told me they had been severely traumatized and now have cptsd. I didn’t ask but they wanted to tell me what the trauma was, which isn’t a problem for me… they said they have cptsd now from being spanked as a child…

How would you respond?

 

[Charbella]

I wouldn’t. They aren’t worth my time. Given how low their ability to deal with distress I’d hate to say they’re full of sh*t and further their trauma. however it IS possible they mean they were beaten as a child and are calling it spanked per family wording? So if you connect on every other level it might be worth continuing to see them and asking what they mean? Generally I get a good read off people face to face so either of the two above would be my response.

 

[arfie]

when i came of age in the early 70's, a common getting-to-know-you topic was, "what's your sign?" somewhere around the turn of the millennium that seemed to morph into, "what's your psych dx?" cptsd is all the vogue this season.

i respond to the spirit of the conversation. my own psych herstory is not available for small talk, but small talk about your childhood is usually okay. you can call the results whatever you like. i'm not here to psychoanalyze.

now i'm wondering if anyone needs the added info that "sign" referred to your astrological sun sign. astrology was as popular then as psychology is today, with approximately equal knowledge of the subject within the fashion crowds. it's just small talk.

 

[RVA21]

Depends the amount/degree/extent/specific circumstances of the abuse.

 

[Justmehere]

The hardest thing is that it’s almost like an earned badge of honor to them… PTSD or any such diagnosis to me is a living hell I have spent my life savings and all my being for years trying to defeat. It is a monster. One that I hate with all my being. That’s probably something I should take to my therapist. Sigh.

They probably have it and just… it’s probably not the things they decided it was about or maybe it is… I dunno… Something feels very off. It doesn’t feel right.

I don’t see this relationship lasting. I see my first really symptomatic day or moment that they are around as likely being super duper hard for them to handle.

 

[Dark.Green.Feathers]

however it IS possible they mean they were beaten as a child and are calling it spanked per family wording?

+1 on this point.

Also, not that it necessarily applies here or not, but spanking can be more impactful alongside a more extensive trauma history. I was never beaten as a child but remember being spanked once or twice, and I still find other kids being spanked acutely distressing. Same with yelling and shouting at kids, not my childhood history but I can’t handle seeing it and become symptomatic. Likely due to cumulation of other lived experiences.


It is frustrating to see diagnoses flaunted, though.

 

[Friday]

How would you respond?

As others have already explored the language thing, which would be 1:2 of my knee jerks?

Internally?
Regret. Not my people. Untrustworthy. Time to get calculated.

Externally?
Exfiltrate. Now.

 

[Justmehere]

me right now:

Is it possible to find someone gentle and courageous…with some mental stability? Sigh.

 

[Rose White]

Is it possible to find someone gentle and courageous…with some mental stability? Sigh.

Am so with you on this!!

 

[Freemartin]

They probably have it and just… it’s probably not the things they decided it was about or maybe it is… I dunno… Something feels very off. It doesn’t feel right.

Who of us hasn’t minimized their trauma? Or attributed our ptsd to something it’s not really about?

Myself? For the longest time I thought I was struggling cause I was just a wuss not dealing with life. As it turned out, my FOO was abusive as f*ck.

As for the case at hand, I naturally can’t tell what it is about. But I’d be careful not to be one of those ppl who minimize, or join the person telling about their traumas in minimizing, real traumatic shit.

 

[PamelaS]

The hardest thing is that it’s almost like an earned badge of honor to them… PTSD or any such diagnosis to me is a living hell I have spent my life savings and all my being for years trying to defeat. It is a monster. One that I hate with all my being. That’s probably something I should take to my therapist. Sigh.

They probably have it and just… it’s probably not the things they decided it was about or maybe it is… I dunno… Something feels very off. It doesn’t feel right.

I don’t see this relationship lasting. I see my first really symptomatic day or moment that they are around as likely being super duper hard for them to handle.

Glad to see that you have figured this out. Sometimes it’s just not a good fit because your on a whole other plane with what you’ve been through. Keep up the good hard work and the fight to dismantle the monster. Glad you are taking good care of yourself. Keep moving forward.

We can trust our instincts. If it feels yucky there’s probably a reason for that.

 

[CooCoo4CocoaPuffs]

Spanking is child abuse/violence. Imagine telling a woman (or man) getting their butt hit over and over by someone with leverage/size/status/??? Over them doesn’t count as domestic violence, abuse etc.

Maybe it’s time for me to del my account here if people with probable CPTSD (or complex af trauma) are sneered at/mocked. The momster that not only broke shit over my ass but also punched me, psychologically tortured, verbally abused me and worse would probably gloat at this. I suffer DAILY from her systemic torture for damn near two decades. Even though I’m no contact for several years!

Also, a therapist in the 90s immediately pegged momster as being the biggest problem I was facing. I thought the violence later was.

Great. I don’t fit in with this crowd, either. Back to the hellscape called Reddit, I guess. FML.