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Hi KP-another MVA victim. I feel the exact same way. Although, I have taken pills and ended up in the ER twice now. I thought I might be the only MVA PTSD online. My ex husband and my daughter are very concerned. My daughter is speaking to my T tonight. I don't know how to reassure them anymore. After the first time I could but then the second time, well, I lost credibility.I do sometimes wish I hadn't survived the crash. Living is so hard
I felt really sad when I read this stillsad.. I hope you learn to love yourself and how to be safe, care for yourself.. you're worth it! Life is hard but there are ways to cope and feel better. I can relate to what you say about welcoming death, I don't actively do anything suicidal (well smoking and eating too much but no drugs/drinking anymore), had a major serious attempt that failed, I too almost died, about 4 years ago, and thats what snapped me out of the fog and made me get help. But somedays when I think its too hard or i'll never get better, I would welcome death, its a quick easy way for it to be over. But I know that would be letting my abusers win, and I try to be stubborn and say screw them! I want to get better and deserve to be happy!I have attempted suicide several times, I did die once, in front of my children. It took severals hours to get me back. I still indulge in very dangerous behavior. I will welcome death when it;s finally my turn. More than anything I want to stop hating myself