Poll Has PTSD Caused You To Attempt Suicide?

[Loveneverfails]

I elected yes, once only- though it was a very strange experience. I had just found out my ex, who is highly abusive was cheating on me. My friend base in those days was full of equally abusive people as I had not been able yet to realize that I was a victim of abuse period and so was repeating relationship patterns. When I told them he had cheated on me, they took his side and abandoned me. I remember sitting there with a very sharp knife at my wrists ready to just do it and for whatever reason I told God I couldn't do it anymore. I'm not a very religious person and was even less so then, but a warmth filled me like I don't have words to describe. I just felt so loved and felt so much hope for a better life and I had never felt such things before. I haven't harmed myself or given in to such thoughts since, though it has been extremely hard at times.

 

[Ice_Fire]

Yes, I seriously thought about it, planned it all out. But the actual attempt was rather spur of the moment and I'm glad now it didn't work. I just wanted to escape. But now I will fight.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I did once, I thought that my family would be better off without me. I was swallowing pills and got scared and I called 911 to come and get me, I was chained to a chair and between a drunk and a prisoner with my iv taped up to a wall, while a police officer watched me before I saw a doc.

It was a horrible experience lucky my husband came and got me out of ward b. I did'nt get held for the 3 days like I was supposed to. I figured I wanted to live and it was not an option for me after that. I am sad how this affects so many people, the biggest lie that says our families would be better off wihout us.

 

[piratelady]

I made one serious attempt. I took a bunch of different pills and stuff...but I threw up.

 

[Tinyflame]

I'm not so good at fighting it, though I think it's great for those who can, but I try to hold on.

 

[Ice_Fire]

I'm not so good at fighting it, though I think it's great for those who can, but I try to hold on.

(((Junebug)))- you are good at fighting it, you're still here! You are one of those who can and is and will. Keep holding on, there are lots of people, myself included who would miss you dearly. You are important. Stay safe. ((((HUGS))))

 

[OKRADLAK]

I had one of those Nietzsche things.......I had it planned and went to woods and then realized that the OPTION of suicide was a damn good succor.

I walked out of the woods and held on to that soothing secret for years. In fact, I still have the plan and every now and then go to my place and "practice." Only a few times did I ever really really really wish I could do it. The other times I just WANTED TO PAIN TO STOP.

Because I have family who love me I hope to God I never do it. My best friend did it and the pain never stops! However, I cannot say for sure that the things I battle will never get the best of me.

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear Ice_Fire, you are so very kind. Thank you and ((((Hugs)))).
I really mean it, I really admire your grit and bravery.

I guess none of us can ever say that for sure, I wonder myself, but one day at a time is all we need to accomplish it.

 

[Malia]

I have also attempted suicide many times. Cutting my wrists and taking a lot of pills usually....

 

[krikkit]

Four times. All intentional. One time I got scared and called Suicide Hotline and was talked out of asphyxiating myself in a garage with a running car. It was a close call. I was sick, dizzy and beginning to lose consciousness. I almost couldn't find the garage door opener. I was so scared of cars, I knew one was going to kill me. I just wanted to get it over with in the least painful way possible.

Second time I OD'd, threw up in my sleep and failed. Never told anyone, I just cleaned up and acted like nothing happened. My therapist says throwing up and happening to be on my side are the only reasons I survived that. I guess someone or thing doesn't want me dead.

Third time got me committed to a mental hospital in Louisiana. I tried to slit my wrists because the aural hallucinations wouldn't stop and I was scared I was schizophrenic (I am not, it is likely due to brain damage and I do not hear distinct "voices"). I got sent to the hospital and then forcefully put in the looney bin. They did a lot to help me figure out my symptoms and whether I was experiencing psychotic features.

The last time I had a plan to hang myself in my closet after my illness turned a bunch of my skin into dead tissue and scars but a close family friend had just killed herself by hanging and it devastated everyone. I changed my mind at the last minute and told my mom I needed help or I'd hurt myself. Ended up committed again, although it was by choice that time.

Since then I've been on a lot of strong medications. I get the urge to go to sleep and not wake up sometimes, but never to cause myself to do so. I haven't thought about committing suicide or self harming in a while. I hope it stays that way, passing urges sometimes come up but they are always very brief and never anything I plan to take serious action on.

 

[Invisible-Guy]

Most of my attempts were pills, but I've also cut myself with glass from a window I put my fist through and used a knife. Once while if a hospital step down unit, I ripped out the IV's and ran out of the hospital because I knew they were going to send me back to county mental health. I jumped in front of a car, which swerved. So did three or four more cars. I don't know why, but my right leg was kinda weak, but I managed to run all the way home (where the police were waiting for me) I was sooooooooo tired by the time I got home I told them to take me anywhere they wanted, I didn't care. Got sent to county (of course) where I got caught making a rope. luckily, my wife got me transfered to another hospital as soon as possible. Its been a while since I've done something stupid, to every day is a challenge. Almost every single day there's a moment where I wish I were dead. Can't do anything I used to be able to do.

 

[Britt.f7]

Yes, when I was a teenager.

Since then, I have definitely driven drunk. One time I am not even sure how I got home. I no longer drive drunk.

I have also driven while extremely exhausted, fell asleep twice. Each time I totaled the cars, injured myself slightly(wore seatbelt) and hurt no one(thankfully).

The last couple years, I've put off seeing doctors. Not good since I have a lot of medical issues. Didn't realize how long it was, until I started seeing them after my mom died. When they told me how long it had been, I was kind of shocked.

I've gone off meds that I desperately needed. Due to my complicated heart history my cardiologist still wants me to take antibiotics while I have anything done to my teeth. The dentist always asks and I always lie and say I did. Secretly wish something would happen.

The last time I was put under for surgery, I prayed that I would not wake up. I have to have my ICD replaced, but have thought maybe I shouldn't. Even though I know, if I have a tach episode, I will die, because of where it comes from in my heart.

Earlier this year I came very close to dying. When they started giving me prescriptions, and changing them so I had extra on hand, I started thinking of hoarding them.

I'm pass some of that but there are still days that I wish I would just die. Not by suicide.