Poll Has PTSD Caused You To Attempt Suicide?

[suzie q]

I voted yes in various ways. I attempted first when I was 16 with wrist cutting and failed. Later I tried by not eating food. I spent many times in a alcohol and drug induced phase that I should have been dead. I constantly put myself in dangerous situations hoping to die. I lived on the streets for awhile without anything to my name and should have died several times. I'm grateful that I am alive. I want to live today.

 

[Momma Kitty]

Yes, only once... by accident

I have thought often about the wish to die, but never attempted or risked myself to the chance.

I warn others of the danger of Ambien!!!!

During a serious time of my life, (Divorce), I was extremely upset, to the point of hysteria possibly. All I know is I remember taking the sleeping meds but waking up a few hours later and taking more. I woke up in the hospital.

Apparently, I called my now ex, crying while under the influence of Ambien. My daughter had warned me that I would get up and do things after taking the pill. I would be totally blacked out about the memory. No recall at all. I was put in the hospital because my ex claimed I was trying to commit suicide. All I wanted to do was sleep and calm down. I have no idea how many I took or how long I was out.

I now take xanax only.

 

[onebravegirl]

4 times.
Looking back though, a part of me was just desperate for someone to take my reigns and drive for me. After the last attempt I realized that It was not a healthy way to ask for help. The only one who would have really been happy to see me dead was the people who sent me into PTSD anyway. I wasn't going to give them that sort of power anymore. I will not victimize myself anymore.

 

[damaged goods]

I'm not sure what it was, but at one time 'it' convinced me that the solution to all of my problems was 80 sleeping pills and 2 bottles of whiskey. wrong answer.

 

[anni]

I have wanted to put an end to the chaos many, many times. It's seriously only because my dread of what would happen to my children was more over-powering than wanting to not be here that I don't think I've attempted suicide.

I also seriously do not know if any of my actions in the past were actually flirting with suicide. I've done many high-risk things, but these are activities in the realm of 'sports'. I never connected my willingness to take some huge risks with perhaps not wanting to live. It doesn't feel that way, but I have way too much wary respect for PTSD manifesting in apparently unconnected ways to assume anything!

Thanks for making us really think about this subject clearly.

Take care,

Anni

 

[CafeAulait]

I have never physically attempted suicide. Altho, there have been times when the stress has been so bad that as I lay in bed at night, I'd be thinking how nice it would be not to wake up in the morning.

 

[NIKI]

My attempts have always been with pills. I would take alot of different pill together go to sleep and hope not to wake up. Thankfully I have not had that state of mind in quite a while. I do not really want to die, I just want the pain to die!

 

[Darkness Shines]

I voted 'many times', but it was actually only twice. Once with pills in early 2005, then a very, very serious attempt with a knife later that same year that landed me in the psyche ward for a while. Still have the scars. Guess I always will.

I haven't been suicidal since I met my husband in 2006. No matter how much it hurts sometimes, I want to live for James.

 

[shadowchaser]

It has caused me to contemplate it many times. But only one serious attempt. Obviously I failed. I'm glad I failed.

 

[rjtransient]

No attempts, but for a long time I was obsessed with planning how to do it correctly with almost no chance of failure. I nearly went through with it last November. What stopped me? I was too sleep deprived to trust my own judgment. I still wonder if I should have carried it out on another day.

I'm happy to hear that everyone else who posted survived or backed away from the edge. Hang in there.

 

[Tinyflame]

You too rjtransient
xo

 

[Deleted member 5760]

Yes, once.

Completely unplanned. It was just last month. Considering witnessing suicide was what caused my PTSD I never thought I would attempt it myself. I know I didn't want to die though because I sent a text message. I had been in a state for days. I went to my valium and I took every last one in the packet. Then I sent an sms to my mother saying I'd done it (I wouldn't have done that if I truly wanted to die).

I don't remember anything after that. My Mum has keys to my apartment and came in and found me unconscious on the floor. She called the ambulance and I was taken straight to the hospital. I woke up the next day in the emergency ward asking for McDonalds.

The very next day I called my T and told her what I'd done and we scheduled an appointment. My gf was very upset with me as it scared her and I thought for a few days she was actually going to leave me over it, but she didn't as she saw everything I'd put in place in the days following to ensure it never happens again.

My T's view of it is that it was my 'rock bottom to bounce back'. I have to say I absolutely agree with her. I've felt different since. All I can really say is - it taught me to value my life a LOT more. A lot of positive things have happened since and my mindset has changed to actually see those positives. As far as suicide is concerned - well it can kiss my butt cause Im NOT going down like that. Life is far too precious, and so am I.