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Has someone made your ptsd better, and then you shoved them away?

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Recently in my life, someone (in a way) "came" into my life. I am not going to explain fully what happened to me to have PTSD, but all i'm going to say is that I screwed up badly, and paid the price... Anyways, that event hit hard for me, and I was getting worse day by day. Until someone got into my life, and for some reason when this person did, my brain started to be better, work better, etc. My nightmares was going away. I was happy. However, my trauma and anxiety kicked in and more or less "told me" to stop having feelings for her, to not be happy, as I don't deserve it, as everytime I try to get close to someone, I mess up. I got close to many of my friends because of this. I use to shove people away from my life, and felt nothing but depression and despair, but this person was the light of my dark, dark soul. This person single handed did more in a few months than 5 years of help. Mind you this started in around October-Novemberish. So, after I shoved her out of my head (stopped thinking about her, forced myself to stop caring for her). my nightmares came back, and its worse. I honestly have a harder time sleeping than ever before. I think its because she help cause a "healing trigger," and after I shoved her and my friends out of my life, it faded away, and it was a stupid thing to do, as it messed me up more. As suffers of this condition, what would you do in my shoes right now?
 
It’s pretty normal for the distraction & high of a new relationship to nix symptoms for a few months.

They come back.

Sounds like yours were starting to come back, anxiety & isolating at the very least, when you broke up with them.

It’s a common theme for something to cause temporary relief, and then to drop it like a hot rock when “it stops working”. Relationships, jobs, hobbies, even living somewhere particular. It feels GREAT! And then it doesn’t. And so we wash our hands of it and seek out the next thing that feels great. Or, not finding one, try and go back to the first. It’s all a big round robin of avoidance. That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t have relationships, jobs, hobbies, or homes. Nor does it mean we should stay in them forever. The trick, in my experience, is to seperate out what’s PTSD & what’s not. If you’re doing a thing purely for symptom relief? That becomes pretty dicey pretty fast.
 
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